The Uncommon Path
"The Uncommon Path" is a podcast that intimately explores the transformative journeys of individuals, featuring raw and unfiltered testimonies that celebrate the resilience, growth, and shared human experiences, offering listeners a source of inspiration and connection on their own life paths. Join us as we unveil the extraordinary stories that shape who we are.
The Uncommon Path
RERUN - Jasmine Etterman - Breaking Through Pretense to Find Freedom
Jasmine Etterman shares her journey from a childhood of hiding behind a perfect Christian family image to finding freedom through vulnerability and confession.
• Growing up in a pillar church family while wrestling with hidden struggles
• Developing an addiction to pornography at a young age and believing she was alone in this struggle
• Finding authentic community through an Antioch life group in college
• Experiencing breakthrough when another woman shared her testimony of freedom from sexual sin
• Learning that confession and vulnerability are keys to breaking shame's power
• Discovering how many other women struggle with the same issues through open sharing
• Going on mission trips to Germany, India, and Indonesia that transformed her foundation
• Leading a Syrian refugee to Christ and witnessing miraculous healings
• Reconciling seasons of spiritual intensity with current season of marriage and motherhood
• Finding joy in being fully present in the season God has called you to
If you're struggling with shame or addiction, find someone you trust and invite them into your life. Confess your sin - the freedom you'll experience is worth the risk of vulnerability.
all right. So, jasmine adderman, it's really good to see you here, thank you, are you picking? Um, this is the uncommon path. The uncommon path was it's named the uncommon path cause it's basically, you heard Holly's, but, um, we want to hear your story, like the path with you and the Lord, what it was in the past, what it is present, what it kind of is going towards. That could include a lot of details or not a lot of details, depending on what you that you have free range to kind of share what you want. We can always go back and edit something if you feel uncomfortable about something.
Speaker 1:And really in the past, kind of where we usually start is kind of from the beginning, like, how did you become a Christian? Um, what kind of pursuit did the Lord have on your heart during that time? Like, was that? Was that like an instantaneous thing where, like, everything changed in a moment, or was it like a gradual thing of owning your own faith? And and what did that kind of look like? Um, so that's where I'm going to kind of let you go, but before we do that, please introduce yourself and tell us who you are. Jasmine, what do you do here?
Speaker 2:Sure, well, I'm Jasmine. I'm a young adult here in Raleigh. I'm married to Trey Ederman. We are expecting our first baby, so that's the biggest thing that's happening right now. It feels like man. Um, yeah, I'm a project manager. I work in digital advertising. Um and life group leader at inioq. And, yeah, I. Something that brings me joy currently and hopefully for the rest of my life, is just finding ways to be creative wherever I can all right.
Speaker 1:So where, where did? Where did this path start with Jasmine?
Speaker 2:Yeah, um. So I definitely resonate more with the gradual um coming to the Lord Um. I grew up in a home that loves Jesus and um love serving the Lord um, which is something I will always be thankful for. Um. So this love of serving the Lord kind of looked like being at the church every possible opportunity Um. So it kind of felt like my second home. Um again loved that. I loved my church family. Um really felt like an extension of our family Um where?
Speaker 1:where did you grow up again?
Speaker 2:I grew up in Greenville, north Carolina. Yeah, um, it's not far from here, um, but yeah, with that, there were some things that my family was struggling with. Namely, my mom had depression like my entire childhood, and my dad didn't really know how to talk about that or explain what was happening. So my home kind of felt like a place that was walking on eggshells, not really sure when, slash, if I could speak, you know things like that. But you know we were still always at the church, always serving, always doing these things, and my family kind of became like, oh, the Karens family, you know, aaron's family, you know, and so I kind of took on this persona of pretending like everything was perfect, you know, like we're the ones that show up first to set up and lead the events and, you know, do all the things that seem really good, but kind of hidden away. Was this like good, but kind of hidden away? Was this like I don't know? I don't know where I belong, I don't know. I believe that God is true and I have seen his goodness, but it's really hard for me to grasp that for myself. So, yeah, that's kind of what my childhood looked like, um, and I what?
Speaker 2:Now, looking back on it, I could guess was my attempt at intimacy. Um, when I was young I developed an addiction to pornography and that was gut-wrenching to to handle alone as a child, you know. And then I fully believed that this was a man's issue, you know, and that if anyone knew I would just be like absolutely hated, like if anyone knew who I was truly they'd be like ew. So yeah, that was kind of this struggle that I had and I look back and just see how many times the Lord was so faithful and revealing himself to me through that, just really sweet moments where I can now see that he was trying to extend grace but I was so burdened by shame that I had no idea how to receive it.
Speaker 3:Um.
Speaker 2:I had no idea what that even looked like for me. Um yeah, so.
Speaker 1:I think that's so. I always find it fascinating how, like you can't receive grace until like well, sorry, the shame will over, overwhelm you so much and petrify you until you can receive grace. And like receiving grace as its own battle. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:Totally yeah. Battle, yeah, you know totally yeah. So I eventually go to college and thankfully got connected to an antioch life group my freshman year wow um, which is seriously the grace of god, um, and I was just really taken aback by the authenticity of the group that people genuinely loved Jesus and really loved each other.
Speaker 2:That was just so fun for me to see and I started getting discipled. That was, honestly, the first step of tackling this shame, because I was trying to do this whole yeah, I'm great, I'm, everything is together, but, like, still hide away. Um, but that is really hard to do when you've invited someone in your life. You know, um, um. So there are these questions of like hey, jasmine, how are you? Like I'm great, you know. And then, yeah, yeah, when you're doing that with someone who has a gift of discernment that doesn't last very long they don't even need the gift of discernment when they know you pretty well.
Speaker 3:You're right, that's really funny, I'm married to somebody with a gift of discernment and also knows me extremely well, so I have like zero. There's like zero hiddenness in my life at all. She's called stuff out in me before I know. I'm struggling with it that's amazing, so true it's pretty good, terrifying, but helpful. No, it's actually it is. It's pretty good, terrifying but helpful.
Speaker 2:No, it's actually. It is a good thing.
Speaker 3:I have a question. Just like to me, pornography is just kind of like a counterfeit of intimacy. Like you said, you're looking for something and it's this. It's an unhealthy version of a God created amazing thing. It's a? It's an unhealthy version of a god created amazing thing and it so what? Where did you find actually what you were looking?
Speaker 3:for because we're all wired for that level of intimacy, and that that level of depth, that pornography is like the. It's like a poisonous version of that food that we're all what designed to eat, right, and so where did you find that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, um, yeah, so I I ended up going on one of our college ministry spring break trips. Um, they're like these outreach opportunities, but then also just you know, hearing people's stories and worshiping, and you know. So. Someone shared their testimony a woman and shared how she had been completely set free from sexual sin and addiction, and it was the first time that I'd ever heard a woman dealing with this.
Speaker 2:And I so vividly felt the Holy Spirit invite me to confess for the first time, like everything and so I think how you worded that is really beautiful.
Speaker 1:You said you felt the Holy Spirit invite you, so there wasn't like a pressure.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It was an invitation to just like lay it all out, yeah.
Speaker 2:I know it was an invitation, but I felt like I was going to just die if I did.
Speaker 1:Yeah sure, Healthy conviction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So I um, I grabbed the girl who was discipling me and then made her watch me weep for like 30 minutes before I opened my mouth, because I was just so certain that she would hate me. I just so firmly believed that, and after I finally just opened up and shared everything, the first thing that she said was that she loved me, and that was so healing for me because it was like I was hearing her say it. But it was really me hearing the Lord say that to me, for the first time and me being able to accept that that was true.
Speaker 2:You know, like I would say like, oh yeah, I know Jesus loves me, but it was the first time that I had kind of received it as truth for myself. It's beautiful, yeah. That recognition that jesus knows me like he, he completely knows me better than anyone ever will, and he still loves me, was what I needed to to let go of addiction to and to complete and to walk in freedom and actually receive grace.
Speaker 2:Um so, yeah, I think the the yeah, the idea of being known and still loved was it has been huge in my life.
Speaker 1:What kind of advice would you give to another young woman who's kind of had similar like um, like addiction to pornography or stuff like that, or like deep sexual addiction? Like I feel like it's hard for anyone right To like confess a lot of that stuff, but I feel like for women especially, it's it's just this real shameful thing. Um, how, like, what do you recommend other women do who are like stuck, like you were where it's like I don't know who to share this with. I don't want to share this with my mom, you know like yeah, so like what, what would you recommend?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would recommend finding someone to disciple you and confess your sin.
Speaker 1:It sounds by the book.
Speaker 2:I mean because that is, it sounds so simple, but it was the biggest thing that I could have done, and and so after that moment, I felt the Lord continue to ask me to share with people. And it was crazy. At first. I was like, absolutely not, I've already done it once.
Speaker 1:You know, this is what I needed to do, and now I'm done.
Speaker 2:But each time I did, two things happened. The first was shame would start to slowly like drop, you know, and I could feel the this, like hold that the enemy had like loosen, like greater and greater, you know, until like shame is just not even a thing that I deal with right now, praise god, um. But the other thing, too, was realizing how many girls deal with this, yeah, which was just crazy to me, that I thought that I was the only one you know. And then just vulnerability breeds vulnerability, you know. And so my, my advice is always find people who you trust and invite them into your life and confess your sin.
Speaker 1:Man, if only the there was something in the Bible about that. Invite them into your life and confess your sin. Man, If only the there was something in the Bible about that.
Speaker 3:Does it talk about that?
Speaker 2:I think I just made that up actually.
Speaker 1:TM Jasmine trademark trademark trademark confess your sin. I love that, Jasmine. That's so incredible. I love that, jasmine, that's so incredible. I love that you, that you're like in a place of healed, like you are healed, so you can now share this freely and not feel weird or condemned or shameful about it, cause I really do believe the same thing.
Speaker 1:Like as I've worked on my own heart I not to go into details, but as I've worked on my own heart the past several years, like the Lord has highlighted a lot of other deeply deep stuff that I never thought I would share to anyone. Like I've shared it with Leslie, I've shared it with the Lord and it's like, okay, that's it I'm. You know I don't need to share with anyone else and the Lord, like, like you said, like took me into this place of like I'm inviting you to actually get more healing. Do you want more healing? You don't have to have more healing. I'll love you the same, but if you start sharing this more and receiving more grace from me, you'll have a place to stand on that you can bring healing to other people. And like that place is. It's hard, it's difficult, it's scary, but it's so fruitful because you share that stuff to people and they're like the scales come off of their eyes and they're like holy cow. I struggle with the same thing, like it brings breakthrough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's so true. I feel like it's such a beautiful way that the Lord has created his body. It's like to live in community truly is to share those things you know and to see freedom.
Speaker 3:I feel like those things are like. When you have those moments where you feel like you're gonna die if you don't share something, you do it and then you realize I've been carrying around so much weight.
Speaker 3:Like Warren, our producer producer, who runs with 40 pound weight vests. You know, you take that off and you go for a run. You feel totally different. I feel like sin and shame and like all the stuff is that you don't confess. It like builds up and it mounts like almost like a physical weight. Yeah, and then you, you confess, and you just are like you feel light as a feather. Yeah, you're just like, oh man, this is awesome. Yeah, you confess, and you just are like you feel light as a feather. Yeah, you're just like, oh man, this is awesome yeah.
Speaker 3:You know and the enemy traps us with these lies that we don't even know how to articulate.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's almost you can see them better looking backwards. But it's hard in the moment to even know that you are believing a lie. Moment to even know that you are believing a lie. The lie is if people knew this about me, they would hate me or they would find me disgusted and like if you actually thought about it and put yourself in somebody else's shoes and they came to you and confessed sin, you'd never right but, you can't.
Speaker 3:it's so hard when you're under the weight to realize that all you need to do is just let it out and you will be loved and accepted. But man the enemy is so tricky about these sin issues. He wants people in isolation, because that's where the lies are louder. They're like louder when you're by yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean. And it says all sin is common to man, and so whenever you're struggling with something by yourself, you, I always forget that right I'm like better not share this. I'm the only one dealing with this right now. It's like, no, all sin is common to man, like everyone's struggling with this. You know, yeah, that reality, that reality is becomes very aware.
Speaker 3:Bible's pretty, uh. I mean you kind of start reading it. You're like okay, if your eye causes you to sin, your hand causes you to sin, like there's. You can kind of read between the lines, be like, okay, was there? These sins issues haven't changed a lot, right yeah?
Speaker 1:in thousands of years.
Speaker 2:Proverbs is pretty clear. You know about it technology's changed, but the same, the heart issues haven't changed right now you know the the psalm, where it's like kicking the devil in the teeth yeah that's the feeling I get every time I think about like confessing and having freedom and breakthrough and, like you know, the enemy loosening his hold it's like kick him in the teeth like let him lose that grip you know right.
Speaker 3:So true, I can't get in too much any details about this, but I will say there was a time, way back when, when somebody wanted to confess something to me and they did and but they kept hyping it up so much that like they're like you're not going to love me or that and like, and all this stuff, like I, I thought I was gonna know the location of a body I really thought sometimes I thought that's like I was sitting there thinking the to the level of the weight of this on this person I'm gonna know where a dead body is, the cops are gonna come to me and I'm gonna find out everything.
Speaker 1:Oh man, all right, hey, seriously, thank you for sharing that I love that I, I, I truly think that I love hearing vulnerable stories because I, I am a whole like. I wholeheartedly believe there's like this incredible power of breaking strongholds off of other people when they hear someone else confess something that's hard for them to confess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's what testimony is. Do it again, lord.
Speaker 3:That's really what this is about. Yeah, testimonies. Because we don't get enough of that. I think, I want more testimonies from people, because I feel like there's freedom in it yeah, like you heard that testimony from that person yeah, exactly right, that brought you freedom right.
Speaker 3:So this is kind of a vehicle for that, while we're talking about the podcast, right like, this is a vehicle for that, like it's share all the stuff, share the raw stuff, yeah, because somebody needs to hear it yeah, you know somebody, some somebody, hopefully, will hear that and be like dang, I'm gonna, I'm gonna dm jasmine and like get discipled or whatever yeah, yeah, the whole.
Speaker 1:yeah, not to go to the vision about the podcast, but that was the whole. Goal of this was to like give people a chance to like hear a more real story from someone they see every day at church Because right now it's just people at our church at Antioch but like to truly see how deep a person's walk with the Lord goes and to give them some backstory on like hey, here's how the Lord transformed my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that you're not just a face that you, you know you get, that people see, just you know, every Sunday and have seen a million times but don't really know like a deeper story of you. You know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I love the vision because there are so many people like that.
Speaker 1:You know, we see so many faces that I don't know and, and there's a lot of people that have such a deep, rich history with the lord and you don't know that? Yeah like unless you take hours with that one person and truly like dig into their life, like you're not going to know that stuff and no one has time for that. That's why we want this is the shortcut, a little uncommon path shortcut.
Speaker 1:Yeah, listen to it on your drive and get to know somebody on the way to work a little better. Get some healing Easy, easy beasy. Hit that easy button, warren.
Speaker 2:I don't think we have that, not yet It'll be there soon.
Speaker 3:It's in 2024 budget.
Speaker 1:What is so? What is the Lord doing? Let's fast forward a little bit. What is the Lord Like? What did the Lord do through you after you shared that, after you started getting discipled, like, how did your life continue to change and what did that look like? Yeah, yeah, um post-college yeah, uh.
Speaker 2:So I definitely got this, this newfound zeal to to tell everyone about the grace of god. You know, yeah, um so contagious for me that looked like signing up for every single mission trip I could.
Speaker 3:Oh, boy yeah. Yeah, Um so that support letter template.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I had that saved on my desktop.
Speaker 1:That's hilarious.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, that was uh. So all of the of the you know stateside trips that we took, and then, um, I, yeah, I went to germany and then spent a summer in india and then the next summer in indonesia, and those summers were really, really fun and really hard because the lord um continued to teach me. It was like there was freedom that happened, and then zeal, but then there's also discipline that needed to happen. Um, and those summers where that's where it really started, um, and, yeah, took, took lessons, learned there and to like the rest of college. And when I graduated college, I joined college ministry for a year and that's where I'm.
Speaker 2:I'd met Trey before, but that's where we, you know, became friends, started dating and then eventually I got married. And then, yeah, I think it's just a constant of like remembering the grace of God and what he's done, but then also, yeah, remembering that there's more, you know, there's more that he wants to do in our hearts and there's more that he has for us, because there's always more of him. And that looks different in every single season, looks different in every single season. Yeah, um, and now I mean yeah, now there's this like, okay, I'm not a super, super zealous.
Speaker 2:You know, college student, I have a full-time job and I'm about to be a mom, which is crazy it was a while so it's like it looks different, and I think that, yeah, that's something that I'm really learning a lot about right now.
Speaker 1:All right, I have. I want to know if you can give a quick snippet or short story of, like what the Lord did in you on each of those trips. And then I would also like to know what is the word I'm looking for. How do you it's going to come to me.
Speaker 3:It will at some point why don't we just you go ahead and share? Yeah, we'll start with those right there. There you go, It'll come to you. It's going to explode with the word. It's the boy. It was this um, yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:So, germany, um was right after like getting discipled and you know, like the first times of encountering god, yeah, um, and was that the year that all the syrians were fleeing into germany?
Speaker 3:yep, this was 2015.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah yeah, so my heart was absolutely broken over that.
Speaker 1:You were a part of antioch since 2015 yeah, wow, well, I guess that was the summer of 2016. When did you start going to Antioch? Was it 2015?
Speaker 2:It was the very end of 2015. The first life group that I went to was the last time they met for the fall semester.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:So technically 2015, really 2016.
Speaker 1:Wow, I didn't realize that You've been coming here longer than me or Leslie have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there, so technically 2015, really 2016. Wow, I didn't realize that You've been coming here longer than me or Leslie have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go. Wow, I was down at Campbell for several of those years. That's right, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's why, yeah, okay, are you a Campbell graduate?
Speaker 2:I am yeah, wow, yep Roll humps what.
Speaker 3:What, what.
Speaker 1:Wait what.
Speaker 3:Wait what? What is this? Did you say roll humps? I did. It's the weirdest thing ever. Like roll tide, but humps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, our mascot is a camel.
Speaker 3:What Literally a camel Stop.
Speaker 2:Interesting choice.
Speaker 3:That's amazing, it's yeah.
Speaker 2:And you, that's amazing, it's yeah and you go roll humps. It's like kind of ironic. But because people have started saying it more, and more it's like kind of become unironic. I don't think people are saying it more than more like well, students at least, but dude that's incredible the camel that's the mascot yeah campbell camels fun, fact Fun fact At least while I was there, we had the second largest statue of a camel in the world.
Speaker 1:Whoa Outside of Iran.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it was in Dubai.
Speaker 1:It literally was in Dubai. That's hilarious.
Speaker 3:I hate that Fun fact, second largest camel in the world North Carolina.
Speaker 2:Right down in. Booze Creek.
Speaker 1:We got the biggest tower in the world. Let's get the biggest camel.
Speaker 3:What are we going to do with these goo-gop trillions of dollars? I could take the world's biggest camel title back from the United States.
Speaker 2:Booze Creek. We're coming for you.
Speaker 1:That is so funny, I was wow, so random.
Speaker 3:I'm so glad you said roll humps yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go. Now you know.
Speaker 3:Roll humps.
Speaker 2:Gosh, where even were we? I don't even remember 2015.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I got us off germany you're in germany you had a big broken heart for the refugees. Refugees coming in yes, and take it away yeah, yeah. What did the lord roll? What did the lord teach you on that trip?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think the biggest thing he taught me there was just his heart for people and that you don't have to be perfect to serve.
Speaker 1:Which is a really good lesson.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was thinking, oh, I can't go on a mission trip, I can't go share Jesus with with people. I'm struggling, you know, um, but that was that. On that trip, I led the first person to the lord um and it was this uh yes, a syrian refugee, a teenager, um oh, so sweet yeah, and got to connect her with the church there and it was just that really changed my heart. That was really part of the reason why I was like, okay, I got to keep doing this, that's so sweet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was incredible to get to be a part of.
Speaker 3:Was Trey on that trip.
Speaker 2:No, he was not. We did not know each other yet.
Speaker 1:And so the Germany trip. And then you said Indonesia. Did you say another one? Yeah, um india okay and well, yeah, what? The next one was indonesia so what did the lord teach you on that one?
Speaker 2:um indonesia, yeah, um well, I'm gonna go back to india for a second, because that one was please do probably the biggest one, where it was like, okay, boots on the ground, we're, we're doing work, you know, and um, and I really felt completely stripped away of every comfort, which is very intense, but um, it was. It was really good for me to realize like other lies I was believing, because when fluff isn't there, it reveals faulty foundation. So true, so there was a lot of just the Lord rewiring foundational truths that summer and a lot of really cool stories of people coming to the Lord and healings.
Speaker 1:And give us, give us one of the, give us a story like testimony you remember from there.
Speaker 2:Okay, this one is my absolute favorite. We were. We had short-term trips that came through and there was one person on the trip who found some hungry people um outside the city and like sorry, spiritually hungry or physically hungry probably both but I meant spiritually okay gotcha um, but they, yeah.
Speaker 2:So we, we go to this little village and we go to this woman's home who was the main person who was hung, who was wanting to know more about the lord, and we do a bible study with them and this woman had invited all of these people into her home and it's like crammed, like, so packed in um, everybody raises their hand that they want to know Jesus at the end. So that was so fun. And throughout the whole time we're hearing like commotion outside and we're asking her you know, through translators, what's going on out there. And she was like, don't worry about that, just wait, wait, wait, and then we'll get to that. And so we do our Bible study, people get saved. And then she's like, okay, now come and we go outside and they had brought every single sick person or people who needed healing from their community to her door.
Speaker 1:No way.
Speaker 2:There were lines of people waiting for prayer.
Speaker 1:And they had stools and water for us.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's so sweet. That's like you're about to start healing people.
Speaker 2:It was the most intimidating thing of my life. I was exhausted, it was like late and I was thinking, okay, we just said, amen, I'm gonna go to bed now oh my gosh, that didn't happen. But um, yeah, I just prayed. I was like god, I am exhausted, you have got to show up that. That's all I could even pray, just like you have to come now wow and um yes, so many people got healed no way yeah there was, like I remember, a woman who had shoulder, something like her shoulder was dislocated or something that was healed.
Speaker 2:Her there was, this baby I thought was a baby, but they were actually much older and they had some kind of developmental thing. Wow, they were never able to walk and we got to see this baby toddler take their first steps. It was just really fun Crazy crazy night. Wow, yeah that was a lot of that summer was very intense.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that was so cool.
Speaker 3:That seems. It seems awesome, but also does seem exhausting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. It was very exhausting, and so that's why I wanted to go back to the summer before, because Indonesia was a lot of like okay, it doesn't have to look like that for God to move. That was probably the biggest lesson there. It's like you don't have to be running on empty all the time for God to get his glory. And so there was like another rewiring that happened there. It's like, okay, you can breathe, you can actually be filled before you go out, but yeah.
Speaker 1:I remember what I was going to say. I remember the word I was looking for. I got it. Guys, if y'all are worried, listeners, if you guys are worried, Let me get my pen out of there.
Speaker 3:Hold on, all right, go ahead. Here it is, I'm ready.
Speaker 1:How do you reconcile?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good word.
Speaker 1:Thanks. How do you reconcile? Because I feel like everyone I think all of us in this room like there is seasons of life where you get touched by the Lord and you're like, oh my gosh, nothing is more important than him, like I don't care about anything else in the world, right. And then you, you have all of this passion, you have all this zeal, and now here you are, you have a full time job, you're about to have a baby. How do you reconcile all of the things you experienced and like fit, fit it into what life looks like now? That can seem very mundane, very consistent, very boring at times, just being real, you know, yeah, um, yeah. How do you reconcile those things? And obviously we're not looking. I just want to hear what Jasmine thinks about that, cause everyone's has a different answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally. Um, yeah, that is definitely something I've wrestled with. Um slight side note, one of the things that trey and I are absolute opposites in are I'm a total dreamer and he's a total realist. That's been a fun thing to wrestle um, it always works out like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's just, but thank god it does.
Speaker 1:Yeah very, very true it is so true?
Speaker 2:If not, I have no idea what I would book craziness I'd be doing right now. Yeah, that's hilarious. So, yeah, there were times where I'll think, like man, I could be living in another country right now, you know. But that is not what God has called me to. You know, like it's very clear what he's asked us to do in this season, and so for me, the reconciliation has come with. Okay, those are really fine, great things. But if it's not something that God has called me to, it's not a good thing for me.
Speaker 1:Gosh, that's so freaking good.
Speaker 3:That is good, that was well said.
Speaker 1:Actually, that is well said actually it was well said I'm copying that I'm jasmine ederman tm we're gonna have like a rolling script at the at the end of this I think I mean I love that. So the yeah, sorry I'm cutting you off, keep going I mean, that's basically it.
Speaker 2:You know, like god is um, yeah, he's called us to be here in Raleigh right now and he, I think, when there's definitely times where it's hard to accept that you know where I'll see something that's happening and I'm like, oh God, I want to be a part of that, you know. But again, I think it's an invitation to just invite him into the process of like, okay, we know you've said here, are you still saying that?
Speaker 2:And then every single time we've asked him that he's either not answered or we know that's a yes or he said, yes, um, and so that that gives both of us a lot of peace, that you know we're where we're supposed to be. And then in that, when we're like, okay, great, we're here, holy Spirit helped me to fully be here, and then he gives joy, which is so fun I love. Like that. That is a fun wrestle, like recognizing that there is joy to be had in the season that you're in, like there is a reason why he's asked me to be here, so let me be here fully. You know, and that that probably is the biggest thing that he's been teaching me in this season with preparing for a baby to come. Like this is such a specific season, you know, and it's like gosh, it's it was kind of hard at the beginning you know honestly.
Speaker 2:And then we have we're still praying about what after looks like. You know like what job situations will look like, what our life will look like. So there's just a big old, fat question mark on a lot of questions, but there's been so much joy in it as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, can I just say, somebody that has five babies, no, not all babies now, but one baby and four kids one baby and four, yeah, little dudes. Um, and ryan has dudes and orin has dudes too.
Speaker 1:Um, dude, orin has dude dude, uno dude, maybe two dudes, maybe two dudes, either dude and dudette or two dudes currently no females represented in the podcast children true but um what was I gonna say?
Speaker 2:oh, reconcile, no um I said big old fat question.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like your your whole value system is about to change yeah like everything just changes. Yeah, yours is probably already performing pretty well, but like trey's is about to maybe even told this to trey on when he was a guest, but like when you're a dad and you hold that baby like just your whole world, like just the way you see it. Yeah, every the hierarchy of what's important it is weird it all just like changes instantly, almost like within a few days. You're just like okay and crazy it is crazy.
Speaker 3:and so I think it's like you're right to be thinking and praying and all this stuff, and then like, but it's just gonna come be like so clear, you know what I mean? Yeah's like your right to be thinking and praying and all this stuff, and then like, but it's just going to come be like so clear. You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean yeah.
Speaker 3:And you're about to be like the most joyful. It's like such a joyful season.
Speaker 2:Can't wait.
Speaker 3:It's good Ryan's in a very joyful season. I am.
Speaker 1:I'm in a very tired. Joyful season the third baby.
Speaker 3:You need to take a nap after this rain.
Speaker 1:Ron, give us a little baby update truett key medlin yay, oh, he's adorable, funny enough. Uh, our doula was andrea flowers, which is ch Flowers' wife. We felt bad because Chris here was going through some agonizing kidney stone, passing while Andrea was being our doula. This is true. I don't know if it's.
Speaker 3:You stole my doula. I had a kidney stone doula.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I'm a bad parent for this or a good friend to Chris, but while Leslie was like pushing the baby, I was like gosh. I just feel so bad for Chris right now, oh my God, that's.
Speaker 2:I cannot believe it.
Speaker 3:I appreciate that though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hey.
Speaker 3:Hey.
Speaker 1:I did name my kidney stone after you. That's true. He did name his kidney stone Ryan.
Speaker 2:Wow yeah.
Speaker 1:And you still have.
Speaker 3:Ryan. I kept my half of the promise. I said if you name me baby Chris, I'll name my kidney stone Ryan. Well, he didn't hold up the end of that, that.
Speaker 1:But there's only so much I can do, chris, yeah I get it.
Speaker 2:I get it, it's fine um fun fact andrea is also our doula whoa nice yeah, I'm excited oh, she's incredible man, I didn't know her at all before this and the conversation kind of was like hey, I'm jasmine, will you be a part of this very intimate moment in our life and she said sure, so that's awesome.
Speaker 3:It's a very intimate moment. Yeah, she, she'll be bonded. She always says around, she holds all the babies that she helps bring into the world and she's always like I'm your first friend.
Speaker 1:That's her little saying that she says I'm your first friend here. Yeah, I'm your first friend.
Speaker 3:Sweet that woman loves babies. She loves babies, she loves birth, she loves the whole process.
Speaker 1:She is amazing, it's she will help trey so much. When we first had cade, I remember being like I don't know what to do, and then I was like, oh my gosh, I can call the doula. That's why. That's why we did this, like I was so relieved.
Speaker 3:I can't even imagine doing that for the first time I can always tell when she's on a call, because she's very like she's got the you know she's pretty strong woman.
Speaker 2:She's still with five boys all day homeschooling them.
Speaker 3:And it's like you know, do your work, do your homework. Where are you at in math, like, and then a client will call and she'll be like, okay, what I want you to do.
Speaker 1:It's so true, it's so funny, so funny. Yeah, knowing Andrea, she's so passionate and can get very, get on her I'm drawing a blank, what is the word? Like your soapbox. She can get on a soapbox and just be super passionate. But like yeah, calling her at three in the morning saying I don't know what to do, she's like, okay, hey, we're just gonna try this for about 30 minutes, 30 to 45 minutes yeah, she brings a lot of soothing to people uh reminds me a lot of bob ross in those moments we had a doula like that not to you know, steer this away from doulas, but like that's what she did for my first baby, sammy, when he was being born.
Speaker 3:It was this like six year old woman named pam who just was. She sat in a rocking chair the entire time. She was like five feet two and sat in the rocking chair. Her feet didn't even hit the ground. I remember her just swaying back and forth and she would just tell she'd just be like everything's great, she's doing fantastic. Why don't you get her a water? And it was just like it made the whole atmosphere like so much better.
Speaker 1:Oh man, because you're just like man. You're like what's happening. Oh man, that's so funny, I can't imagine doing it without a doula Like there's just so much, you don't know oh.
Speaker 3:I know Well, I did doing it without a doula, like there's just so much.
Speaker 1:you don't know well, I did a kidney stone without a deal, and it's not fun.
Speaker 3:All right, let me tell you through a couple thoughts your way.
Speaker 1:Oh man, boy, we've gotten sidetracked I, we so that was my fault this is good.
Speaker 3:So did you ever share what indonesia taught you, because that was your whole thing she did?
Speaker 1:Were you listening.
Speaker 3:I was. I even took some notes, wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what was I going to say? I was going to say something else. I almost feel like we're almost about ready to land the plane. Ooh, do you have any questions for Jasmine Ederman? She's here right now.
Speaker 3:I had a question from way back from the first five minutes. I was wondering because you were in this pillar family right.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:And was there an element of keeping up appearances almost, or just like oh, we're this rock star pillar family in this community and everything's always perfect and that. And like did you have siblings? And like, how did that shape you guys and where are you at with that? Like, how did you reconcile like that to now? Like because you guys are an influential family now and you're in the church in your age category, and so like, what will you do differently? Maybe?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, um, so, yes, definitely felt that pressure. Um, you know, my dad was an elder and my mom, like I was in the choir, led the women's ministry type thing you know. Know, um, I do have two older sisters. Um, my oldest is much older than me so she wasn't in the house, um, like she's 14 years older than me, so it was really just me and my middle sister, um, and, yeah, she also kind of took on this. Yeah, fit the picture. You know, she was a lot more real than I was, though she still is, but, yeah, like leader in the youth group, you know, had all the friends she was so popular, oh, funny.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I think really it goes back to being authentic. Yeah, um, and inviting people into the realness of what you're doing and dealing with. Um, I thought for the longest time. So, even after kind of realizing that that's not the most healthy way to live, I, I still was like, okay, I can only share these things, though, with people who are like older than me, you know, and or discipling me. Like I, I still have to keep up appearances with those younger than me who could like yeah look at my life and it'd be a stumbling block quote, unquote, you know Right.
Speaker 2:But I remember there was one trip I was on and there was a girl who I was discipling and I shared with her something that I was going through and asked her to pray for me and she was like you want me to pray for you?
Speaker 2:And I was like yes you know, and realize that she thought the same thing. You know that someone older can't ask for prayer, you know, and I was like gosh, there's so much pride and like that thought, and I was like I need to not think that way, you know. And so, um, yeah, I think, just like recognizing if there is any place of pride, and and I got you humbled yourself to come down to us.
Speaker 1:I can.
Speaker 2:I can a little bit and ask for for help with people who you know are around me. So I think that that definitely helps battle the perfect family. You know crap.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know why, but I feel like I should ask this question what is the hardest lesson you've had to learn? Being getting married and being married? And then, what's the hardest lesson you've had to learn like about to have a baby?
Speaker 2:gosh. I think, um, it's kind of similar to other lessons, but just letting walls down and and like truly inviting someone into your life. You know that was um big with marriage. You know um like okay, we're, we're doing this thing, you know, and I don't know what it's gonna look like, but we're choosing to do it and I'm gonna choose to do it 100 percent. Um, I remember I will never forget um annie and craig, awesome people in our church. Um, I lived with them right before we got married, um, and they shared about when they were getting married and up until they said I do, they were like I don't know, know.
Speaker 3:That's hilarious. They were like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know if this is what I'm supposed to do. But then they said I do. And they shared that. As they were driving away from the wedding, they were like can you believe we just did that? And they were like nope, but let's make it the best decision we've ever made.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. That's so funny.
Speaker 2:What a cool story I just loved that so much because it took a lot of pressure off of like I have to. Everything has to be perfect. I have to make the absolute best decision.
Speaker 1:You know, really cool yeah and it.
Speaker 2:I felt a lot of freedom in that and like, okay, we're gonna choose to fully commit and let that be the best decision that we make. You know, yeah, so, yeah, I think, yeah, learning to dive in when we feel peace from the Lord and feel Him leading is a really big lesson. In marriage, yeah, and then in preparing for motherhood gosh, I don't even know, I think I'm every day there's something different yeah, kind of similarly like, okay, lord, I don't know, I don't know what this is going to look like, but we're going to trust you and we're going to choose joy and the unknown that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Well, that was awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a couple of rabbit trails, but very succinct. Yeah, good.
Speaker 1:I love those rabbit trails, though my grandfather always used to say the best rabbit trail leads to the juiciest carrot, and I'm a believer in that statement yeah, it's a great statement it is a statement, people say it sometimes sometimes they do there's not as many people say that it's a roll humps. I will never forget that Sometimes, sometimes they do there's not as many people say that it's a roll.
Speaker 2:I will never forget that.
Speaker 3:Roll humps. Yeah, as Jasmine makes the wave symbol with her hand, roll humps Like honestly, this is the podcast.
Speaker 1:I want, every podcast to model after Like. I want the vulnerability and model after Like I want. I want the vulnerability and transparency of what's going on. But then I want, like some silly banter slash statement that's going to stick with me for the rest of my life Every time I see a camel, I will always think it's going to be like see a camel and start laughing, thinking of roll Roll Take. Rolls.
Speaker 2:Take me away.
Speaker 3:Bye, thank you.
