The Uncommon Path
"The Uncommon Path" is a podcast that intimately explores the transformative journeys of individuals, featuring raw and unfiltered testimonies that celebrate the resilience, growth, and shared human experiences, offering listeners a source of inspiration and connection on their own life paths. Join us as we unveil the extraordinary stories that shape who we are.
The Uncommon Path
Colt Charlebois - Finding Purpose Beyond Performance: A Journey of Faith
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Colt Charlebois shares his journey of faith and the struggle with striving for success. His experiences highlight the importance of finding validation in God rather than solely through achievements. The episode dives deep into identity, masculinity, and the impact of mentorship.
• Transformation from a life of striving to one rooted in faith
• Colt's unique childhood shaped his understanding of masculinity
• Explorations of fatherhood and its impact on self-worth
• Discovering purpose through faith in business
• The balance between ambition and humility
• Importance of community and mentorship
• Redefining success beyond performance metrics
• Embracing servant leadership as a pathway to fulfillment
• Encouraging listeners to stop striving and start abiding
Introduction
Speaker 1Hey everyone , this is Chris . I'm Ryan From the Uncommon Path podcast . The scripture , Revelation 12 11 says and they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony .
Speaker 2Our hope is that as you listen , you will be encouraged in the Lord . This podcast was created as an avenue to share people's raw and unfiltered journeys with him . We hope this brings breakthrough and intimacy with Jesus through their testimony of what God is doing through their lives . Warren , you can edit this out , but , um , just so you know , we'll have our phones out . We might text each other back and forth . We're just going to keep track of time for you , so you don't have to keep track .
Speaker 3That's the point I have heard on some episodes you said warren , edit this out , but it stays in there I don't know if that's a Warren thing or if it's just a funny comment .
Speaker 1Warren does as Warren pleases , Something we've learned that's worth keeping in right . Sure , I'll edit it out , no problem guys .
Speaker 2You know how the podcast goes . We just are interested in your journey , about how the Lord and you started walking together , what that looked like , a little bit of your past and then kind of present up to date and then kind of what the Lord has on the horizon for you . Please include any type of miracles , any type of stories that the lord kind of just divinely interfered , and then , um , anything that you needed edited , edited out , you'll send , you'll be sent a copy after this and nice , yeah , so , um , I'm bound to say something where I put my foot in my mouth .
Speaker 1Don't forget to intro him . Yes , intro .
Speaker 2Colt Name , what you ?
Speaker 1do when you're from Bois , bois .
Speaker 3B-C-O-L-T-S-H-A-L-L-Y-A-H Be the phonetic pronunciation .
Speaker 2Bois , my wife would be so embarrassed right now I took two years of french in high school . Oh , why don't you go ahead and take go on chris colt charlebois .
Speaker 1I like it . I like it . B plus , I'm just gonna grade it myself .
Speaker 3Actually , really , good hopefully the whole episode isn't funny , very relevant to every listener out there colt is a business coach .
Speaker 2Um and um . You have helped people from all scales in the industry , from single small business owners to massive . Um , like ceos and owners of big corporations . Um , give us
The Power of Testimony
Speaker 2a fact about yourself that very few people know or that no one knows .
Speaker 3There's a fact that few people know is that I have in Ontario , canada , what's called the AZ license , and so that means I'm actually licensed to drive 18 wheelers .
Speaker 3And how that shows up in my business today . It really doesn't and may never , but my dad was a truck driver and he had a trucking company and he owned he called it Colt Transportation , hoping that I would take it over someday and I would drive big rigs . And so I got my license and started driving with him and realized dad , I love you , and if we want to stay that way , I think we should not work together , but um but yeah , we have an amazing relationship and um , but it's a fun fact if you ever want a coach bus , I could drive you somewhere in that .
Speaker 3Or if you want a haul in a big rig , we can go .
Speaker 2That's an amazing fact yeah .
Speaker 1We're going to keep that in our back pocket in case we ever need to transport a ton of people or goods in Canada .
Speaker 3No guy From Canada , Okay .
Speaker 1We'll have to log what's in the back of the truck , of course , yeah , of course .
Speaker 2Customs above board completely with this podcast . Cole , tell us kind of the beginning how did you grow up , what was , what was god kind of like in your mind growing up and lead us up to kind of the aha moment you had with the Lord ?
Speaker 3Yeah , there wasn't a lot of faith conversation . I think as a kid my mom had taught me the Our Father prayer and so , like most kids before bed , at least in our part of the world taught how to pray Our Father , say your prayer before bed and that was about it . That was the extent of it . There were periods where we had gone to a Catholic church when I was quite young and then we went to an Anglican church . All I remember is that my mom thought it was better for priests to marry , so then we went to the Anglican church for a while and then she taught Sunday school for a blip , which is really interesting to know , like how and why that happened . But , um , but there was really no conversation of god . No , um , yeah , no bible that we saw or spoke about in the home and it , uh , it didn't come to me till later . I came to faith , uh , in my late 20s .
Speaker 2So , yeah , not a lot , not a lot going on there , did , did you , were your parents together , like growing up ?
Speaker 3no , good question . Um , my mother and father separated for good when I was about two years old , which is really interesting . They only told me when I was a full-grown adult that they actually divorced before I was born and uh , so really they had yeah , unfortunately was . He was the 13th out of 13 kids and he wasn't really parented and became a bit of a rebellious type and for him he just , you know , alcohol became his fuel , became his confidence , became the way that he could engage the world and became like really a party animal , had trouble staying in jobs and had trouble .
Speaker 3He loved my mother and you know , beyond measure , but really didn't know how to be a husband . That wasn't modeled for him . So even his father , you know , didn't have the best image model as a , as a husband and there for his family . So unfortunately I didn't have much of a male presence in the home . My uncle had lived with us for a bit growing up , which was , looking back , really helpful , empowering to me at a certain age . But my weekends with dad were amazing . If I were to tell you the stories you'd be like as a father , you'd be like that's not that amazing , that's a little scary in fact .
Speaker 3But I love my dad and I never doubted his love for me , and I think that , above all , was the most amazing gift he could have given me was the fact that he would tell his girlfriends to sit in the back seat when it was his weekend with his son . He's like that's my boy , you sit up front . You know ? It's just this real fostering of my spirit . So I longed for times with my dad . He had a hundred acres of bush that he owned at one point , and I don 100 acres of bush that he owned at one point and I don't know how he got , I don't know who lent him the money , but he just had this bush . A lot of it was swamp and so it probably wasn't very valuable .
Speaker 3We'd go to the the lot , we called it and , uh , he , he purchased , or , uh , or been given I don't know a school bus . It was decommissioned , it had no engine , he cut out all the seats in the school bus and had made it into an rv . And ryan's laughing because he's already read my seats in the school bus and had made it into an RV . And Ryan's laughing because he's already read my memoir and the manuscript of it . And so he had to put a wood stove up front so we would squeeze by the bifold door and he had a king-size bed at the back that filled the whole back of the school bus and a couch and a little makeshift sink and we'd just hang out there . You know , got a little hot at night .
Speaker 3You'd open all the little miniature windows after another you hear the buzz of the back door when he'd open it in the middle of the night to cool off .
Speaker 3But uh times with dad you know , have these 10 foot bonfires and just hang out . And there was something about just that presence with dad that I longed for and I think when I didn't have it like during the weeks and you know we'd go two weeks without seeing each other Most times the weeks and you know we go two weeks without seeing each other most times um , a real , that's where just that real masculine insecurity grew for me and I think , looking back , it was like my mission to overcome that insecurity you don't know it consciously and stuff , but at a certain age your longing to be with dad gets replaced .
Speaker 3You're longing for um , your friends , to approve of you . So the male affirmation I wasn't getting from dad . Then I started looking for it in friends and that led me in a lot of , you know , interesting decisions .
Speaker 2I would say what is the one memory core , like a core memory that you have , like being out on the lot with your dad ? Is there , like there's probably a ton of stories , but is there one in particular that like sticks out in your mind ?
Speaker 3yeah , I mean I'll , I'll give you kind of two . But there's , my dad didn't have a lot of money because oftentimes , when he'd be staying long term at the lot , um , he usually wasn't working . It was in periods where he hadn't found a job , and so for some reason , we had atvs priorities of course he had this big red three-wheeler and we would .
Speaker 3He had a little yard trailer and we'd literally just drive through the ditches on the countryside picking up beer bottles . And I don't know if it's a thing that happens in the south , but uh , in the ditches in Canada in the rural countryside there's a lot of beer bottles . Back in the day People just drink and throw them out the window . Apparently that was the common trend . So we'd spend the day trolling the ditches and fill this yard trailer , this lawn trailer , and then we'd get to the corner store and he'd return in . He'd get enough money on a new case of beer , a loaf of bread , a bottle of mustard and a loaf of mock chicken . I don't know if you know what that is , but it's not the most prestigious lunch meat and so we'd make sandwiches with mock chicken and
Speaker 3mustard and uh wow and and there was a few quarters left over I got to play some video games , so I was motivated , to say the least . I'm looking for bottles because I want to get to the end of the budget . Was the video game budget , right ? So I think that was a memory that stuck out to me .
Speaker 3And then , you know , when I was six years old , my father gave me a hatchet Talk about a rite of passage , right ? Like he would be cutting down trees with an axe and chainsaw , and you know , as a boy , I want to do what my dad's doing . So he gives me this hatchet and that's my first , like you know , real manly weapon , right ? So , um , so , you know , he says be careful , right , like you don't want to hurt yourself with it . And of course I'm trying to chop down the tree . I'd miss it . Sometimes it's swing between my legs . I'm like , oh , that was a close one , but one time I had swung it back and you know I had watched a lot of he-man masters of the universe , I don't know if you guys know this show but , it was the real deal for me and he-man would take his broadsword , you know , swing it right back up over his head .
Speaker 3And so I did that . But unfortunately I cracked myself right in the top of the head with this hatchet right the back side of it and uh , and like I , like I was crying and my dad drops the chainsaw . He comes running over you . Okay , are you okay ? I'm like , yeah , I think I'm all right Again . I'm like six , seven years older . Oh , my gosh , he's like I think you should put your motorcycle helmet on For the full year . Anytime I was chopping wood I would put my motorcycle helmet on . There was a couple of times the hatch would ring off the top of that helmet .
Speaker 2Good thing you have your helmet on .
Speaker 1So so I was a kid that wore a helmet .
Speaker 3I guess that's awesome , wow my kids will never get that level of adventure , unfortunately . I really want to bring them into adventure , but yeah , it won't be that that's amazing .
Speaker 2What a , what a cool way for the Lord to like give you just that masculine presence , like the extreme version of that , you know . Oh , it's so cool .
Speaker 3I love that there are so many stories , but you know , and I'm old enough , that children's aid can't take me away . There's a lot of interesting , so I have to ask .
Speaker 1Like you said , you mentioned , you maybe had some male insecurity from the times away from dad .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1But then it sounds like these times with dad were like extreme levels of masculinity and just kind of you know , manly adventures dangerous . A six-year-old with a motorcycle helmet , on chopping trees with a hatchet invokes kind of an image of this . Dad knows how to impart masculinity to his kids or poor parenting or poor parenting . It's just a cocktail of the two . But how did the insecurity form ? Was it the times away ?
Speaker 3Yeah , I think so . In all the times between , I'm longing for my father right .
Speaker 3And you know whether it's . You know , I'm riding my bike through the neighborhood and I hit a little jump . I'm like I just I would stop and I would literally try and picture dad standing there and just seeing it . Like what would his response be ? And I would imagine my father like celebrating me in some way , shape or form . And so , you know , I think that's very normal for a young man to want to have this role model , encouraging him , speaking life into him and just validating him right . And when you don't have that , I think it just for me .
Speaker 3Anyways , as I got older I don't know what the timeline or the age was , but there was a conscious shift where I want other men to validate me . I want other men to say okay , yeah , you've got what it takes , you know the pat on the back . And so the expression would have been like I want men to say you're the man like you got it . And so my role models in that era were , you know , james Bond . I was like men seem to think he's pretty cool , he's got the cars , the gadgets , the money , the women , you know . And so Zach Morris is saved by the bell . I'll age myself a little bit . I'm in my early 40s . So you know , I don't know what it is , but these men were other . Men wanted to be like them , they wanted to have what they had . And so I thought that if I could just have cool toys , have great adventures , great stories to tell and attract the woman of my choice , then I've figured out life right , I've got what it takes . Others will say , colt , you're the man right . That becomes my whole motive , that becomes my whole mission , every decision filtered through this lens of how do I get affirmation . And so , you know , in high school I had a motorcycle when I was 16 . Again , dad helped me with that . But just , you know , trying to do things , say things , sometimes you'd be putting others down like anything to get a laugh , anything to tell a story , to get attention . You know it was super unhealthy .
Speaker 3But as you progress through high school , you know you're coming to this end of this era where it's like , okay , I sort of figured it out in this realm , but if I'm going to really be a man , then I have to , you know , do something that you know people in society are going to
Colt's Unique Background
Speaker 3deem excellent . So the common denominator to me came in witnessing a friend of mine and his father . So my friend uh , my friend , mark , call him he when he would show up at a bar like he just had such charisma and he was never even paying attention to women and they would like the best looking girls at school liked him . His dad was an entrepreneur , so he made good money . So sometimes mark would show up to school with like a corvette or a brand new jeep and you're like all right , you know , this is what this is , what gives you confidence money . That's the common denominator . If I can make a million dollars , I'll get a nice enough car that I can have , you know , and I the car that the woman of my dreams and I needed women for specifically didn't say , oh , I want a guy with money , like I knew that . But it just seemed that all the good-looking women were attracted and to the security of men with money right , or the confidence that money gave them . So I really saw money as this vehicle to help people um , gain confidence and draw people towards them . Right , I I wish you know .
Speaker 3I would say that I was like a savant at making it , but the reality was that I had read a whole bunch of business books . I had studied success stories , I heard that 90% of the world's wealth has been made through real estate . So I focused my career on real estate . How do I figure out how to make wealth for others so I can make it for myself ? But the reality of it , you know know , to make a long story short is I ended up failing dramatically and I would say things to myself like better to fail at the beginning than the end . You know , it's probably true , but it was terrible . I mean , I , I really , really struggled to get by and the worst part of that was that I couldn't admit it to anybody . Like I'm living month to month . I'm barely able to afford my bills and I'd show up to a party and I would this is called early 20s and I would dress like I was successful .
Speaker 2You know , the whole .
Speaker 3fake it till you make it Like I'm overdressing my friends at a party . My friends are all hanging out and you know college days , hoodies on and um , and I'm showing up in like a sport coat , right , like that I bought at a thrift shop , just to be clear , right . So this image is laughable , but looking back , it's super sad at the same time , like why did I feel the need to do that ? Why did I feel the need to show them that I was something to gain their approval ? Right ?
Speaker 2Living in this false identity Was there any masculine kind of model or role model in like your mom's relationships ? Did she have ? Did she date any guys that kind of poured into you ?
Speaker 3Yeah , that's a great question .
Speaker 3My mother , she actually didn't date anyone until she had met my stepfather , who's now married today , and she never wanted me to be kind of exposed to different relationships and such , which was really wonderful of her to do .
Speaker 3I think in her heart of hearts it was like a personal sacrifice of hers . I think she dealt with a lot of loneliness as a single mother for many years and when my mother met my stepfather I would have been around 11 years old and quite insecure , but he really pursued me well , like I was so shy when he first came to the house and he was like a , like a gruff man's man , like worked in the trades and didn't have a lot of words , wasn't like a , you know , super expressive guy with his vocabulary , um , but I just remember our first interaction being so intimidated , like aren't you gonna talk to to doug ? You know he's coming to come to say hi , he's coming over , he's visiting us . And uh , I just sat and frozen and he came and sat beside me on the couch and he's coming to say hi , he's coming over , he's visiting us . And uh , I just sat and frozen and he came and sat beside me on the couch and he's like , so you play video games .
Speaker 3I'm like yeah got a sega genesis oh yeah and uh a little throwback there and he just started playing games with me and I love that like I think it's such a model for us as men and as fathers , to pursue our children's hearts .
Speaker 3It's like he just came alongside me and did the things that I was interested in , and so I was really into model cars at that age , loved , you know , getting the cool cars . The , you know , the 68 Camaro was my favorite car . We built those little plastic models , glue them all together and then he'd show me how to do them even better , like he'd get prime the body , show me how to sand it down and so together we'd build these models .
Speaker 3Remember I was building these like monster trucks and then we melted down and crushed some cars . We made this whole scene out of it like um doug was really amazing at that and uh , just so there was that , the beginning of continue to give me confidence . And when I went from like just living with my mom to living with him , that's where I started to know how to get the attention of the guys , like there was a new confidence that was emerging , but the the motive behind it , I'd say , was still a little bit off or a lot ?
Speaker 1and when did he come to live with you ? How old were you ?
Speaker 3that was in about 11 , 12 years old and so so he's there throughout high school . But I think what happened was there was a shift in parenting too , because my mom's in a new relationship . She's focused on building that . We're in a new city , so we had moved to where my mom originally grew up , about an hour from where we were living , and so it's a new school , new environment . So I'm really focused on my friend . She's focused on her relationship and there was probably some some conversations that she's shared as an adult saying you know , we in that season we probably should have been asking more questions , right ?
Speaker 3interesting well you kind of always got to know what your kids are up to .
Speaker 1I think it sounds like yeah , I was just thinking because I have boys , you know , aged currently two to three to 15 and like that 11 , 10 , 11 year old like that's super critical for a father figure yes in the house . So you know you're getting that father figure every other weekend doing the wild stuff , but then you kind of have this now stable good dude in the house at what probably , at least in my opinion , is kind of a critical age for like confident growing in confidence and stuff like that .
Speaker 3Right Part of that model for masculinity too , though , is , you know , my stepfather's brother was kind of one of these suave ladies guys , you know , just always had stories on the road , and then you see the other men kind of laughing and kind of playing along with that , and so you think that that's what , you know , you should aspire towards , and I had him and I had another uncle , and they would say things Hopefully I say this on the podcast but he would say like hey , 13 years old , you know , you getting any , getting any .
Speaker 3Like a 13-year-old boy like you , you getting any ? I'm like I don't know what any is , but I'm going to figure out how to get it . You know like that's what happens when a young man's buying Like it's mind , like it's like , okay , like these guys are looking at me , I better , I better figure out how to get some in order to tell them that I did and I'm okay , I'm good enough you know , and so this is where the construct starts to develop of uh , how do I become the man right ?
Speaker 3so , um , I'll fast forward a little bit . When I started in real estate , I was 25 years old , and this is really where I met the lord was , um , I was trying to flip houses at the same time as build a real estate career just really scattered , trying to do a lot of things . I was even going for my financial planning license at one point securities license , it's like all over the map , not successful in anything . And I got to a point where I was reading books , usually books written in the US and in Canada . Things work a little bit differently in terms of getting money , especially to you know , and so I'd read books about OPM . You know this thing other people's money you ever hear these terms ?
Speaker 2This is good .
Speaker 3I'm so glad . I'm so glad society hasn't been exposed to this jargon . But OPM is like . This became my mantra is like if you want to get ahead , you need to use other people's money oh , I've heard of that .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , you just need 20 investors . You know it's 100 grand each , and then you can flip houses with your friend's money and ruin your life .
Speaker 3Basically telling my story on a lesser scale , but yeah um so so I start borrowing as much as I can on credit cards , so I had really good credit up to that point . I bought my first house at 22 years old and I think I'm going to flip this house , so I'm going to get out some lines of credit , some loans , and it's going to take me a month and then by the time it actually sold it was 12 months later . I really didn't know anything about the real estate values and such . I broke even and didn't work for 12 months and then had all this debt at the end of the day . And so most people would say at that point probably don't do this again . But in my mind I'm like , okay , well , I've learned a couple of things . I'm going to do this again . Bought another house with a friend , same sort of thing a year later . Now I haven't worked again for a year . I'm not focused on building a real estate career . The house flipping is going horribly . I owe over a hundred thousand dollars at age 28 and I am so broken like I'm so broke that I can't even pay rent . I don't have the confidence to go work the hundred% commission job that I had been kind of schooled in , so to speak and I don't know what to do .
Speaker 3On top of that , I was so shattered relationally because there was a few females you know , at different stages , that I had fallen head over heels for deeply , deeply in love with and at three different times times , each of them chose another man . One of them was just a friend we'd never dated , but it was getting to a point where I really wanted to ask her . And then she started dating another guy . I was like when I was quite young . But then I dated a girl for quite a while and um , and
Fatherhood and Masculinity
Speaker 3then her best friend felt so horrible that she came over she said you know , she on you , she's with this other guy , she's hanging out with him . I just need you to know Like you're devastated , right . Same thing happens with the next long-term relationship . The whole time I'm doing everything in my power to try and be the man . And then I start . You know I'm in a relationship where the person who knows me better than anybody who's been so intimately close to me , knows all of my insecurities , and says not good enough , goes and finds another man , you know . So I wasn't just broke right like I was very relationally broken , I was insecure on the deepest level , I think , imaginable .
Speaker 3And it's when I started asking about god . Like god , do you really exist ? And I started , very interestingly , I have a my friend , mark , who had always looked up to and and really saw as like a model . I said to him , him I said you think this is God . You know , we were sitting in a hot tub one night looking at the stars . I'm like you think this is an accident .
Speaker 3I said all of this he's like what are you talking about ? I said just how did this come about ? Right , Like , tell me , it has to be by design . It's too amazing , like it's too unfathomable . The ecosystems of the earth , how human life comes into creation , like I was thinking about all these things . The galaxies , how , if we were one mile closer to the sun , we'd burn out . One mile further we'd freeze . Like everything is so perfectly succinct , you know , in a seemingly imperfect environment . And he says man , I never thought about it before . And so now he was a canadian , but he had met his wife and now wife in Alabama and so he had moved to the States .
Speaker 3This was a trip we were visiting . He goes back home and starting to ask her questions , so she takes him to church , you know , and he just gives his life to the Lord . It's on fire for God . My mom very concerned about her boy , you know I'm really in a tough season . I'm having conversations with her . She's so worried . She starts talking to her friends at work and they invite her to church . She gets radically saved and is like zealous beyond zealous for the Lord . And so now my I didn't mention this either my father had come to faith as well , and he quit drinking . You know , his life kind of cleaned up . A very strict lutheran church gave him all the structure he'd ever lacked his whole life . And so my , my father , my mother , my best friend , all come to faith , two of which were because of conversations I prompted wow , and , and they all start ministering to me in different ways and telling me you know , this is a , you know , come to church , the lord .
Speaker 3And so it comes to this point where I'm . I'm living in my friend's basement because I can't afford to live my own . I'm trying to model myself as a successful realtor that season to my other friends who are buying houses and uh wearing the sport coats to parties and I'm like I can't afford the bills creditors are calling first month late , second month late , third month late . I'm like man , how am I going to get out of this mess ? I'm so insecure and my mother sees this show on uh tv show . It's supernatural he goes on the show sid roth .
Speaker 3Yes , so he wild , charismatic guy moves his hands a lot . I mean he's uh , he's a cool character , but , um , he has this guest on the show , I'm sorry , and he has this guest on the show , um , who is a developer he was into commercial real estate was losing everything . He talked about praying a prayer of surrender on his office floor . And so my mom sees this , buys me his book and ships it to me and says promise me , you'll read his book . It goes all in on this book . She's like promise me , cool , promise me you'll read his book . It goes all in on this book . She's like promise me , cole , promise me you'll read this book . Okay , mom , I'll read the book , you know , and I'm reading this and he talks about surrender .
Speaker 3And so I think the most authentic prayer I can do is to lay on the floor . I'm thinking , living in my friend's basement it wasn't even like a finished basement , it's concrete block walls , you know , felt like a prison cell and I throw the book on the bed . I'm like all right , god , are you for real ? Are you really in control of my life ? Because if you are , you have to have a better plan than this . And I said I love business , I'm fascinated by it . But if you're not calling me here , I want whatever you want . So , um and again , I thought the most authentic .
Speaker 1Are you saved yet at this point ? No , okay , so you're just praying for yourself and your future . Okay , I love it , great Keep going .
Speaker 3Yeah , this is like 28 years old and I believe the most authentic prayer possible is , like you know , I got to be as close to the floor for some reason , so I'm like my cheek is pressed against the floor , my arms are stretched wide out , my arms are stretched wide out and my buddy , who owned the house , he lives there with his wife who's pregnant , and I'm thinking he used to go for a cigarette at night and I think he's going to walk by the window and think I'm dead in here , you know , like I'm just literally sprawled out in his basement floor , right ? And I didn't know which cheek was holier . So I said the prayer on both sides , both cheeks , just to think , you know , maybe the administrative of heaven was like not good enough , like that was my core construct of life , right , not good enough . So I said the prayer every different way and thinking , okay , this has got to get through .
Speaker 3Anyways , long story short , I said that prayer and within a few weeks , god just created a wild circumstance that became an open door for me to attend a church . And then at that church , I met a group of men that were . We just connected instantly and became like best friends since the day we met and he gave me the relationships I needed to support this new journey towards him . And yeah , it was phenomenal .
Speaker 2When did you finally like surrender your life to Jesus ?
Speaker 3It was then , and there it was right in that moment .
Speaker 2Yeah , I said .
Speaker 3I'm all in . If you're real , if you're really in control , I want it all . I'll give up anything .
Speaker 2Wow .
Speaker 3And so there were some other things in that book that talked about forgiveness . I had never really understood , like why would you forgive anybody ? What's the benefit of that right ? What the book explained to me the book , by the way , is called Michael Gallagher , is the author Win Every Battle and it just explained very simply to me that forgiveness is not saying , hey , what you did , what you did to me , is okay , I'm okay with it . Like that's not forgiveness . Forgiveness is I'm not going to live in this prison of resentment anymore , so I'm going to let go of what you did to me . It's not right what you did , but I'm not going to hold it against you anymore , because I've certainly done some things that aren't right either .
Speaker 2I understand .
Speaker 3And so as I started to pray these prayers of forgiveness mainly especially for the women that I had been with , that I'd been so heartbroken by I just began to feel the release . You know , I began to saying like it was the first step of saying , okay , god , I don't have my plans for the future , I don't have , you know , my understanding of who I might be with or if I'll ever be with someone or what , but I'm just going to start trusting you with these small steps and having dealt with resentment , some , like you're in the business of it , at least in real estate conveying .
Speaker 1You have to convey confidence , you have to convey trust you have the suit jacket from the thrift store like I don't , something people might not realize , like resentment . If you're carrying that around is like it presents , almost like an insecurity , like if you have it , at least it I feel like it does . It has in me , like you , it's , it's like a weight right that weighs on you and it , I think , from the outside looking in a discerning person . But see this person's under a weight right , they're not light and airy and confident . Fun to be around . Fun to be around . Yeah , there's like pain in there , which is the exact . You don't want that . If you're trying to be in a trust-based business relationship , you don't want that period . But you know , in my line of work you convey trust and relationship is everything and I could see that being a real game changer for you in your line of work when you let go of that .
Speaker 3Yeah , I mean , if anybody's listening and they're in commission sales . It's a really difficult place to be when you're under financial pressure , emotional pressure , because when you're in survival mode it's about you , Right ? It's like how am I going to get the next pay , the rent pay , you know , get my next meal , so to speak . And I think in that time where I started trusting Jesus , the greatest , most eye-opening thing that he showed me in the word was that he came to serve and not be served , and by default , every interaction I was having .
Speaker 3I'm asking the question are you a potential commission ? Right , I've only got so much time and so much energy , and mainly because the weight of all of this life circumstance was bearing down on me , my motivation , some days I feel like I didn't have it to go out and to make a call to meet somebody , to do an open house , whatever it was , and so then the time I had when I was out there , I'm trying to like jockey . Who's more likely to lead me to a commission ? Is this person buying or selling ? Are they connected to people who are buying or selling ? And so everybody is a potential commission , and it's a really inauthentic way to build any trust or relationship .
Speaker 3And in our business they would say something like you know , you have commission breath , right , and everybody can smell it , but you but , so you don't want commission breath at the end of the day . But what Jesus showed me is that , like , it's not about me and the more that I learned to serve . And this is where , like even when I was early at the church just serving in different capacities , the joy I had , my favorite job , even to this day , is when I was a waiter at a little seafood restaurant called Joey's Only , and I just loved bringing food to the table , making people laugh , you know , keeping their cups full , like it was just such a fun job to serve . And so he showed me that when you're externally focused , you expand , but when you're internally focused , you eventually implode , because that's what was happening in my life .
Speaker 2Dang , that is a really good word .
Speaker 3Now , the same is true for an individual , as it is an organization , a nonprofit , a church . When we're focused on serving , we expand . When we're focused on bureaucracy and politics and rules and how should things be done , we eventually implode , we deteriorate , because we're pointed in the wrong direction . That was like an early message that God gave me , and immediately the business started to turn . It was really cool . It took time to get out of the mess . I was in for sure , and it took a lot of trust and that was where he was building my faith . Um , it was eight years before .
Speaker 2I paid that debt off but he showed me the direction to start looking . Wow , will you ? Will you share a little bit about um , the first time you kind of encountered um ? The way I coined it is like inner healing with the retreat that you went on , that first retreat that you went on . Would you mind kind of sharing your experience there and how that was pivotal in your life ?
Speaker 3Oh man , yeah , that was so funny enough , around the time that my mother had given me that book , I got another book she might have given me that one too John Eldredge Wild . At Heart , it was the first time I'd seen this concept of God a warrior , or made in his image , this masculine image of God , and not the permed hair with the you know perfect press robe , like the flowing , flowing robe . It's like a panty pro v commercial .
Speaker 1You know that wasn't really , I call it german jesus , like all the pictures of uh . Blonde haired , blue eyed jesus with long hair on the church wall .
Speaker 3Yeah , israeli , yeah not the israeli image right um yeah , so , but this masculine image of god , like this rugged carpenter that was , you know , afraid to get his hands dirty and , uh , was a warrior by nature and so fast forward . I meet these guys , the church . One of them says , um , hey , my friend told me about a men's event coming up and I just about bulldozed . I'm like , what are you talking about ? Where ? When is it ? It's going to be sold out . I need a ticket . Like I was so obsessive about getting there . Like he's like what's wrong with you ? Like just chill , I'll find it , I'll get back to you in a week or two , like I'm like I got to get around this group and so I'll share this quickly .
Speaker 3But I go to that event . I meet a guy there who was a former football player six something like big dude and he came and sat down at the table and started to chat with me about how the event went and said , hey , you know , if you want to grab a coffee sometime , let's chat . He ends up becoming like a spiritual father to me and he had owned businesses but he's in full-time ministry now and really pursued me , taught me things and then introduced me to all of his Christian business owner friends and they had like this really cool organic community that , um , they would all just be checking in on me . They were fathering me in ways that my dad didn't know how to , was never equipped to and so they would buy tickets .
Speaker 3Colt , you got to get to this event . Colt , come meet me for lunch , come over to my house for dinner and and they always seem to know like . It's like I would be talking to one and I tell them what's going on , I talk to another . It's he's like yeah , I know what's up , you know . Like somehow they just knew and shared it .
Speaker 3And there were many men that they were pursuing like this . They really intentionally were discipling in the marketplace and it showed me this model of this is the man I want to be Like . This is the man that like yes , it's great to be in business and of course you want some measure of stability , but Of course you want some measure of stability , but ultimately it's about being this living , active disciple in the marketplace . And so at some point , a couple years into this journey with these male mentors Kari is his name , who became a spiritual father to me , invites me to this event . One of the business owners had gone to a band of brothers boot camp , which is a satellite camp of john elder , just while the heart boot camp oh cool so they play john's videos and the guys have put on .
Speaker 3He did this in syracuse , upstate new york . And then he says I gotta bring this back to ottawa , like he , as he said he caught the vision and so he comes back . He gets a bunch of guys . He's like we're gonna throw an event here in Ottawa , we're going to run the videos . And so I get invited to that and on the premise that I'm going to share my testimony and I'm like I'm a mess , what do I got to share , he said , brother , we're all a mess , don't worry about it , just get up there and be authentic , just tell them where you're at event .
Speaker 3And it's the most raw and transformative . Like the way these men shared was something I had never seen in a church before . Like these were prominent men in the marketplace and they had businesses and reputations and they're talking about things like , uh , man , graphic stuff about their childhood , things their fathers did to them and it's , it's painful , palatable , to listen to this . But what happens is they see you and or sorry , we see their transparency
Seeking Validation through Work
Speaker 3and we say , if they can share that , then I can certainly share what I've been through . And so this measure of freedom , you know , came to me and really this deeper level of confession and it was stuff you didn't even know that you needed to confess or talk to anybody about , but just random hurts from childhood , you know that came up and so , long story short these I've been just wrestling with some of the messages and chewing on them and getting major revelations of why I was so obsessed with women . They were a coping mechanism for my lack of parenting , my lack of , you know , my presence with my father . That equipping wasn't there . I was looking to be validated from , yeah , yeah . So it was like medication , right , I just needed the attention of men , I needed the attention of a female , somebody to tell me hey , you're good enough , you've got what it takes . I admire you , I want you , you know , and that was the fuel I was takes . I admire you , I want you , you know , and that was the fuel I was looking for . And anytime you had it , it didn't last . And so at this event I'm chewing .
Speaker 3I'm walking out of the building between the breaks and one of the guys grabs me and pulls me aside and said I think we need to do some wound healing , some wound ministry . They call it like wound ministry . Sound like some medic mash unit or something right . And they pull me in a room and they start I'm very you know in my head about this all and they start praying over me and I just start weeping over this childhood memory of my first memory of my father and I'm holding this picture of him . He's got a football jersey on it's got number I think it's 88 on the front of it long hair . He's at a party or something .
Speaker 3I just remember holding this picture and crying saying why can't he be here , like why can't dad be here ? And my mom trying to console me . She's like , honey , we just can't live together anymore . She's trying to tell me all the logical stuff , um , but I'm like I don't understand though , like I'm in pain . I've never felt this way in my life . I need him and he's not coming and I interpreted that as a young age as well . It's because he's got more important things to do . So , essentially , you're not valuable enough for his time right now . He's got more important things to do and so I set this construct of I always need to prove that I'm worth it right .
Speaker 3So they do some ministry around this place and I'm weeping and the guy says to me . Colt , I want you to just don't worry about the next session when it starts . I want you just to take a walk . It's this beautiful camp in the woods and there's nature trails everywhere by the lake , and so I want you to take a walk and I just want you to ask the Father how he sees you . So I want you to take a walk and I just want you to ask the father how he sees you . I'll admit , when he told me this , I'm like that is the most weak and flippant question . I'm like God , give me my purpose , anoint me .
Speaker 2You know like something .
Speaker 1Give me something strong . Please Tell me what to do . Yeah , I'm a doer , how do you see me ?
Speaker 3father .
Speaker 3Like it just seems so I don't know , um , but I agreed because he just did this really intense wound ministry on me and I've been weeping and I'm like , I'm like , okay , whatever , I'll just go for a walk how do you see me , father ? You know , and not expecting a lot to come of it , but I went off on this trail . I just kept repeating I'm like , father , how do you see me ? I didn't hear any words . Really interesting though , this real boyhood feeling came over me , like I just I felt like it's awkward to even talk about now , but I just felt I felt silly . Like I started climbing trees . They had a ropes course .
Speaker 3I'm like I'm doing really silly little boy things , you know , and I'm a grown man . I'm looking for things to swing on , I'm climbing rocks , I'm just like . I'm like hoping nobody sees me . I just I felt this expression of play just engulf me and I'd been under that weight like you're talking about chris for so many years , this weight of needing to just I call it strive . You know , I'm trying to do more to be accepted , even after I come to faith , and it's like relaxed nature of just like , just play , just be , just be okay , you know . And the next morning after the boot camp . I wake up and um , mark verse 111 pops into my mind . I think that's the scripture and I'm like mark 111 , what's this , you know ? And I just open up the bible and I see words that I've read many times before , heard many times in sermons , where he said you are my son , who I love , and I'm well pleased .
Speaker 3And these words were like a gut punch when I read them that morning because I had been asking and I had been praying for the past two days and when he answered it was like just being washed , like a bucket of warm water . I was like I was in a rush to get to work and I just ended up sitting there for like an hour and a half . I'm like , what am I rushing for ? I'm just like I just felt so , affirmed by him , and that began a relationship where I started to hear him in small ways , started to hear that , like , I am enough in God's eyes .
Speaker 2And still , to this day , there's moments where I'm like I find myself striving for God's approval and just pausing . Be like , wait a second , this isn't his mo lord . What are you really saying here ? You know so , wow , all right , fast forward to kind of getting married . You have a son now , um , will you share briefly kind of how that happened ? You can mention the trip before um you got married if you want , unless , yeah , yeah , there's certainly a whole other podcast for the detail around just that .
Speaker 3There was a a 10 year , so I came to faith in 2010 , got married in 2020 and a 10-year journey of singleness as a believer , watching all my friends get married , have their first kid , their second kid , wondering like okay , god , I'm doing all the things . I'm serving you in so many ways . What's the deal here , right ? So I actually invited one guy to church one service . He's going through a tough time with a breakup . He comes once meets this beautiful girl . They end up getting married six months later . I'm like what ?
Speaker 2the heck what's the deal here ? I've been here this whole time , father anyways , you know my heart .
Speaker 1Stop inviting people , so save some of these girls there was .
Speaker 3It was a long period of time of just me recognizing like there's no room in your life for a relationship goal .
Speaker 2You have so many goals .
Speaker 3So much doing Like this is the time now , as a believer , I'm still striving , and I'm striving in how I serve God . I'm striving in how I'm trying to grow my business , to do build a kingdom business for God . Like I want to give lots of money , like my mentors did , and do all these things and they're all good . But it took me that long 10-year period and going through a very severe burnout that really destroyed my health , you know , to come to a place where I actually couldn't pursue anything anymore . I was on . I was in my living room staring at the stipple ceiling just saying , like , am I ever going to feel okay again ?
Speaker 3I thought when people talked about burnout they said , you know , like , just take the weekend off , get over it . You know , nobody likes to slouch right , just get after it . What's the problem here ? But I had physically depleted my resources . My hormones , there's a whole bunch of gut health issues that I had and everything I ate really zapped my energy and so for months I really wasn't . I was barely able to take a walk . I had to , you know , eat a very , very bland , restricted diet , just to not , you know , cave and just the mental pressure of of uh , I just get these very overwhelming moments .
Speaker 3I've never had depression , but I felt like I could see windows into what that must be like . And it was a very heavy season , but equally blissful , in a very strange way , because I knew the lord I've been walking with for many years and it was the first time I couldn't chase any shiny objects . There was no , no rabbit trails . I'm like Lord , if I ever feel okay again , what do you want , you know , what do you want my life to look like ? And so there was this really you know , unspooling process , decompression that he took me on . That led to , you know , a few months of just nothing . And then I started feeling better . I felt like he called me away to Guatemala .
Speaker 3I bought a one-way ticket , flew to Guatemala , ended up staying there three months , but so much of my story is wrapped in and around this , trying to be more . And it was so beautiful to meet the Lord and get immersed in a community that showed me what godly masculinity looked like , and get immersed in a community that showed me what godly masculinity looked like . But even then , there was a lot of insecurity that I was still working towards earning my way out of , and it wasn't until I really understood this concept of abiding right , john 15 , you'll bear no fruit . My life didn't have real fruit , right , so I learned that you know the only way to stop striving , the only way you'll ever feel like enough , is not by accomplishing something , not by having something , but by understanding true fellowship with God . Understanding that , one speaker at an event one time he was a Screamo Christian , screamo artist , which was fascinating .
Speaker 3But he said you know , I came to a place where it was . If it was just me and jesus in a padded room for all of eternity , I'd be okay . Now why I was a padded room , I have no idea .
Speaker 3But it painted a picture for me nonetheless , so walls made of sealy mattress sensor , but so , but , um , but this this is the point I came to as well .
Speaker 3I'm like are you enough for me , god like , or do I need to go do something else ?
Speaker 3I need to be something . And so , in that place where I couldn't do anything , he did become enough for me and he started showing me this economy where it's like the world is working and earning and striving to be enough to someday get rest . But I've completed it all , I've already completed it all and in me you can begin with rest and then we can co-labor together , knowing that I have all the resources , all the tools , all the people , everything in accordance of your calling , and this idea of going from a , you know , a slave mindset , where I'm trying to earn my way out of the shackles , to this air , air to the throne right and an air like if I were to picture myself as like my father is a king you know , I don't necessarily have it all yet , but he does and there's this comfort and relaxation where I can just go about my day and go about my you know his instructions for me and knowing that I'm good , like my future is secure .
Speaker 3My father is the king , right and and when you open your day like that , anytime there's a whisper in your ear and in my ear that says you're not going to make the you know this this month's income , you're not going to , you're going to fall behind again . I can pause and be like and that's just not true . Or I meet someone that , like I got a client who is just they're showing signs of wanting to , to stop or back out . Like you know , they say something that I receive as personal rejection . Like I get those attacks , just like every other man on the planet , those insecure moments . But now I've learned to just hand them back to God . I say God , I know what you say about me and if that's true , your will be done . Like because your plans are good . I've seen enough evidence now to know your plans are good . I've seen enough evidence now to know your plans are good .
Speaker 3So even in the work I do today I think the number one thing I'm doing there's a lot of strategy that can be deployed and a lot of misnomers on what being a business coach even means . Like do you come and give me all the answers ? Like no , I help you find them Right . My job is to help you get your mind in a place of the identity that God has created you to be , because all this striving that you're doing , you think that more revenue is going to be your answer . The reality is , you're not operating out of an identity where you already have it . God's already given you what you need and so when you start from that place , you can yoke with him and you got to know that everything's good , everything's taken care of . So you see , this journey of my life , that narrative arc is about a man who is extremely insecure , has come to the conclusion that he will always be insecure , but when he walks with the lord it seems to make .
Speaker 3You know , just kind of evaporate and go away and I'll only ever be enough , and I'll continue to be enough while I stay in pace with him , while I stay in tow with him , while I , you know , know his , the way he sees me .
Speaker 1So Wow , sounds like would you say . A lot of this journey prepared you perfectly to be a business coach , knowing that , like so many of the things you kind of wrestled with and and had to , in your mind , like have , these revelations are like oh , oh , yeah , here's the key to this problem . I've been trying to solve on my own for years and couldn't solve like the Lord brought it , and now I have it and can you give those ? Is that part of the solution set that you give to your clients ?
Speaker 3In a way , I think the you know when you say solution set , it's certainly not a bag of tools , as much as it might be perceived , as Most people think a business coach is going to come and give you all these techniques . There's some of that that I've learned from experience , but the real thing that I believe I have to offer is faith . I've been in so many situations where I have
Discovering Faith in Business
Speaker 3nothing and we can go into other conversations . We talked a little bit about money and stuff like that , but probably one of the biggest battles I dealt with was lust and sexual sin , and seeing how he walked me through the renewal of that to a place where it no longer holds me captive and it no longer has a threat on my existence and thankfully , before I entered marriage and all this and so seeing how he walked me through that among all these other situations , has given me this place where , any time I feel the enemy say you're never going to make it , you're in the valley of the shadow of death . I have this full , whole heart of belief that it's just a shadow . It's going to feel like death . Yes , every cell in my body is saying flee run , do something to survive , prove yourself , but it's just a shadow , and so my response internally is now you don't know my God . I serve a big God . He's a lot bigger in this situation .
Speaker 3So I bring that into the coaching relationships and everybody's at a different level of faith oftentimes , and in these moments when you're walking alongside of someone , we're going about the practical day-to-days , but there's always a moment where they hit a crisis , or a perceived crisis , that we really get to stand alongside of them and be like man . God's got this , and I can tell them 12 other stories of how he did it , including one from last Monday where I was on the runway in a plane ready to take off and another plane came in and ended up upside down and all flights were canceled . I'm at a speaking engagement the next morning in another city that's a 14 hour drive away , like there's no way to get there , and I'm like lord , what's your will here ? And I'm looking frantically all over the place like , okay , is there another flight ? Can I drive to another airport ? Everything in the toronto airport , I mean there's 500 flights were canceled coming in and out of this place wow and everything is shut down because they want to know what happened .
Speaker 3Yeah , thank , thank god , if you hadn't watched the news . Nobody was . Yeah , that's incredible no , sorry there was injuries , nobody . Nobody died , yeah um praise god for that .
Speaker 3it would have been a lot harder to get on an airplane , um , but bottom line . So they deboardboarded us all this and I'm sitting in the airport and I went through the whole like figure this out , you know , let's get after it . And I just felt the spirit saying just sit and stay , and I'm like but , but , but , but , but , no , just sit , coles . And so I sat in the airport for a few hours . I was really ramped up and like trying to get , because it is now 4 pm , I'm speaking at 9 am in atlanta and I'm in toronto , right , so what do I do ? And I've got contingency plans . I'm thinking out but this is a big exchange , 30 people are flying in from different places to you know . And I'm thinking out but this is a big exchange , 30 people are flying in from different places to , you know , and I'm basically organizing this whole thing , and so I'm one of the main components of it , right , and it would have been really weird if I'm on a tv screen . So it's just not the right way , not the ideal way . But I said , lord , if that's your will , like you know , I I'll do what we can . And I just felt stay . And so , as I did , I came to a place where I'm like , all right , well , I'm not really hearing from God , so maybe I'll just go ahead and get a hotel room .
Speaker 3So after sitting there for several hours and just you know , I talked to some ticket counters . They said , basically , there is one more flight tonight . It's delayed . We're uncertain if it'll still continue right now until they give the green lights for flights to go out . Nothing's happened . But there's one more flight scheduled tonight . It's oversold . There's another flight tomorrow morning . It's oversold . There's another flight later in the morning , it's oversold , and your flight is going to be tomorrow evening . Okay , so a day into this two-day event , I get to show up . Long story short .
Speaker 3I sit , I start you know , maybe I'll just go get a hotel room . I'm kind of depleted , I haven't really eaten anything . I start heading towards the door and I'm just like man , one more chance , lord . I'm going to give it one more chance . I don't know what you're saying in this moment , but I'm going to give it one more chance , knowing that there's nothing I can do . I'm going to get back in line . And so I get in a line . 20 minutes later I get to the front . Lady comes over to me . She's like you're in the wrong line , sir . This is for people who need a wheelchair or some assistance . And I picked the shortest . I'm like all right , lord , your timing is perfect , your will be done . So I go stand in the big line . Now it's like nearing six o'clock .
Speaker 3The flight was scheduled at seven . Might've been a bit delayed . I stand in this line for close to an hour and this lady at some point comes up to me . She's like what are you in the line for ? I said , well , I'm waiting on a miracle that when I get to that counter , that one of those seats will be cancelled and I'll get to get on the next plane . She's like that counter is not changing any bookings . All they're doing is checking people in . You're wasting your time . You might as well leave . I said , if it's okay with you , I'll just stay in the line , because I'm like no , I'm like I'm going to go all the way in this line . I'm going to find out the yes or the no , like I'm not taking anything from anybody . You know , yank me out of here , the Lord will confirm it at one of these booths up here . And so you couldn't call reservations . They just hung up on you , like it was . There was too many people calling Right , so it was the only way I could get a true answer and someone with authority to actually get me on a flight , if it was going to go out at all . So I I long story short .
Speaker 3I get to the , the end of the queue and there's three tellers there and they're serving different people . One looks a little junior , doesn't look like she has much authority . The other one looks kind of , you know , critical , a little bit harsh like . And then there's a guy over in the corner and so I'm like , lord , your will be done . Which one of these people do you want me aligned with ? And so end up going over to the guy in the corner and I said he said what are you doing ? I said well , I've got a ticket . He said your ticket's not till tomorrow at this time . Check-in will start in 10 minutes . Like for that , it'll open up 24 hours . And I said well , here's the thing . I'm hoping that there's a cancellation , because they told me this flight was sold out and I got to get to Atlanta , I got to be there tonight and he said flights . No , they've closed the gate . You cannot get on that flight . It's closed . The gate was closed .
Speaker 3It's not , the gate was closed , he just said it's closed , gotcha , like it's already boarding right now . Gotcha , you're like you still have to go through customs .
Speaker 3Like you know , that takes time . Then you got to get down to the terminal , Like he's , like it's closed , you can't , you can't do it . And I said you don't understand . I said I'm speaking tomorrow and I wasn't like trying to convince him , I was just speaking to him and I , Atlanta , 30 people are flying in . It's going to be very awkward if I'm not there . He says this weird thing . He said what are you speaking about ? That's the most relevant question in the conversation .
Speaker 3I said well , we're talking about leadership , business development , real encouragement . These are business owners . I said here's what's special about this group . They're all working towards creating more jobs for those who have been rescued by human trafficking and I would love to be there to help them in any way I can to grow their businesses . And he looks at me and he says you got any checked bags ? I said no , it's just this carry-on . And he's on his computer and he's doing something , doing something , doing something . And he prints a ticket and he hands it to me . And he said you better run .
Speaker 2Holy cow and he said you better run Holy cow .
Speaker 3And I look at him like wait , what do you mean ? Like is this for this flight ? And he said I told you to run . All right , I wanted to kiss him and hug him , but I was like there's no time for that .
Speaker 2I just bolted .
Speaker 3I didn't even get to say praise God or anything , I just had to bolt . You know . Not to bolt , you know , um , but uh , and I run through customs , run , you know , for the third time of the day , running to the terminal , and I get on that flight and I get to there like 11 o'clock at night , you know , and like it was supposed to be oversold , and so they gave me a standby ticket . For some reason there was an extra seat on the flight . And I say all that just to say this element of faith . You know , this is what it means to walk with jesus . It's a walk by faith and not by sight . Right , there was no perceivable way .
Speaker 3I was in the valley once again . I've been here so many times . But , lord , whatever your will is , I know I can keep stepping and walking on water with you , and so I bring that in so many scenarios and so many conversations when people least expect it , when we're talking . They thought they hired me because I had all these secrets , you know . But the secret they already know half the time is God , and it's just a matter of slowing down a little bit , seeking him . God , what's your will in this situation ? Sometimes I'll just do some listening prayer on a call with someone . Sometimes something will come to me , but oftentimes it comes to me right away , in a minute , and they're like man , I know what I gotta do , you know , and so it . Uh , yeah , I'd love to say I have a little secret sauce for people , but it's just jesus , at the end of the day , you don't really need me .
Speaker 1So real pitch there for everybody listening yeah , but sometimes we need a good uh .
Speaker 3Point back to the lord strengthen numbers right like people who really have an understanding of how this works .
Speaker 1Yes , yeah .
Speaker 2Well , not to sing your praises because , like you said , it's not about you , but there have been .
Speaker 2There was a call , while Chris and Warren both of y'all know the hard time I've had the past six months to eight months now but like definitely times of dark night of the soul , and there was like one session you and I had called where Cole was like I just really feel like the Lord wants to just spend this whole time just like waiting on the Lord for you and seeing what happens . And it was such a great just reminder of being pointed back and like hey , it's not about you , it's not about the situation , it's about what the Lord can do and what he's doing currently . And that was a very , very powerful moment for me and my wife even remembers , like me coming home differently because it was just like a bunch of bunch of going on emotionally and mentally . So , yeah , I I think you do that really well , you listen to the voice of the Lord really well and I can only imagine I'm not the only client you wait on the Lord for .
Speaker 3I mean . Glory to God , that it's just . You can't plan these moments , can't orchestrate them . But uh , it was really awesome to see you like how open and willing you were to just try new things and get into a very uncomfortable place , including doing 15 air squats and panera bread , which is a whole story for another day . But , um man , he didn't do his air squats . What can I tell you ? Where are you right now ? Panera bread , I said let's knock this out . We've had some fun too along the way . But or I've had some fun , I don't know right answer differently , but so embarrassing .
Speaker 2I'm like are you serious ?
Speaker 1so you weren't in the panera bread . No , I was on zoom .
Speaker 2You're comfortably at your home in ottawa and you're doing air squats in raleigh at a panera I like just staring at me , like okay , go ahead and do them said you're gonna do them today .
Speaker 3What's the deal ?
Speaker 2I did .
Speaker 3No there's been some really really yeah cool moments that I got to witness with you , where you just stepped into the uncomfortable , the unknown and said I'm willing to do this , I'm willing to give it a shot . And you know someone may be leaning into my faith I had for what was possible in that moment . And you don't really see it week to week typically , but when we pause and we look back like it was dramatic , you know the growth you had um yeah yeah , to see in many respects , but I want to know what's next though
Speaker 1oh , well then you gave us , kind of how it started , a little bit of how it's going . Give us a where are you headed ? Where do you think you're headed ?
Speaker 3It's clear and compelling future . It's the faith walk right . You just I know fragments of it . I really feel like the Lord's called me to be a speaker and you know it's funny when I was younger , I always saw myself on stages with a lot of people and and that was like something I thought I needed to achieve and and earn and it it's uncomfortable to even talk about now , because I've gone through this long cycle of realizing that that's not about you , it's not about you , it's not about you . And now , coming to a place where it's like , okay , I want you just to you expose yourself in the largest audience possible and get out there . Having to overcome a lot of perceived rejection , I feel like I'm in a season now where I'm good with God , like I'm learning to walk at his pace in a new way , and I've got this message for those that are in that space of striving , where they're good-hearted people . Most of my clients love the Lord . They have what they would call a kingdom business . They want to make an impact .
Speaker 3They want to hear people say hey you changed my life the way you showed up for me in a hundred different ways , whether they're employees or clients or just friends at church , but they're out there doing it . But so many times they're relying on the methods of the world to build a business , to grow a business . I remember Ryan and I set this goal for him to get clients in a period of time because he had a new employee , he had stuff going on , the winter break was coming up and there was a moment that he had where he just asked the lord to fill his calendar and like that was the best part of it all . There's nothing I told him to do , you know , but in that space of walking together he's like , lord , I'm at the constraint right now . Would you just fill my cat ?
Speaker 3And then all his appointments started showing up , you know , and it's , it's amazing , like that he didn't have to like white knuckleuckle it and go way beyond his grid and avoid family dinners to make all these extra calls . He got to prioritize what was important . He was very clear about that in his conversations with the Lord and stayed out of that space of striving and trying to earn what was rightfully his or what God had been ready to give him the whole time . So I just want more to know . That , like if we could end world striving , that would be amazing .
Speaker 2You know , that's kind of a thought that I keep in my mind .
Speaker 3It's like . What would it look like ? What would the world look like if we all walked in this understanding At least those who knew Christ , you know , walked in this understanding that I got nothing to prove I can be in any environment , you can have any opinion of me and I'm okay . Jesus is enough for me . And what might he want to do , in this conversation , in this season , with this employee , with this client , you know ?
Speaker 1I love that , having been a striver myself recovering striving , addict .
Speaker 2That's such a great end world striving , end world striving that's amazing .
Speaker 1If you've recovered from it , as I feel like I've kind of recovered , I'm in the end stage of that recovery recovery . It does try to creep back in a lot , oh yeah oh yeah , you're as good as your performance , yeah yeah , exactly , I mean I started a business with a stay-at-home wife and four kids and a baby on the way . Nice , she must have loved that she must have great faith herself . She was super full of faith .
Speaker 3It was me .
Speaker 1That was worried . All the time she was just like , oh , it's going to be fine and I'm like you have . You know what ? I actually misascribed her faith in God as overconfidence in me for a long time , which was weird , which adds to the pressure of performance , yeah Well , yeah , you're right .
Speaker 2I don't know if I've ever thought about it like that , but it was like I was .
Speaker 1Like you don't know how hard this is , you don't know what pressure's on me . Like you just don't get it because you're so confident over here , you just think everything's going to work out . And she finally one day was like yeah , dummy , like I trust the Lord with all this . Like , yeah , you're a hard worker , yeah , I have confidence in you , but my faith's not in you .
Speaker 2I was like oh , oh , okay .
Speaker 1That was years into it , though , before that came out in a conversation . But yeah , I've had my dealings with strivings and anxiety and that
The Struggle with Striving
Speaker 1pressure and all all that stuff because you got this inner voice , is like dance , clown , dance .
Speaker 3Yeah , you know they're shooting pistols at your feet . You're like man , this is not a fun game , right ? Yeah ?
Speaker 1yes , exactly , exactly right . Yeah , commission sales , it's , it's . Uh , you better learn to walk with the lord so I'll put it out there .
Speaker 3Hopefully your audience is is large enough , but small enough that this is okay to say . One can delete it if not . But uh , um , if there's , you know , if you got some listeners that are in that space for the like , they love god , they got a business and they just are in that that mode on that hamster wheel they're running all the time . My favorite person .
Speaker 3I really love working with driven entrepreneurs and I'm always wondering you know , it was actually Warren who said it really well the other day I wonder is this kingdom purpose ? Is this drivenness good , or is there some selfish ambition in this ? Like , sometimes that line is so hard to tell . Is there some selfish ambition in this ? Um , like , sometimes that line is so hard to tell . Is my motive truly pure in this or am I trying to accomplish something unknowingly ? And so I love those with a huge heart to have big impact . I want to help them get there and I just want to make sure that they're not getting there for the wrong reasons . That makes sense . So I'd be happy to have a call if you know people are in this place or , like , man I'm , I'm going for it and uh , maybe I should just check in with someone that's really good .
Speaker 2I like the rabbit trails we've gone on today I knew there'd be a few you and I .
Speaker 1There's there's a couple of rabbit trails .
Speaker 2They were great my grandfather always said the deepest rabbit trail leads to the juiciest carrot .
Speaker 1There were some juicy carrots today .
Speaker 2There were some real juicy carrots .
Speaker 1Colt Charlebois . Look at you guys In unison , I've been knocking it out of the park Reeling .
Speaker 2I didn't even hear Colt speak the whole time . I was just like Charlebois , charlebois , charlebois .
Speaker 3So good Love you , dude .
Speaker 2Thank you so much for sharing your story . It's very impactful and really awesome .
Speaker 3It's an honor to be here , guys . Great , I get to be part of this uncommon path . Maybe we'll go pick up some beer bottles . Pay for my flight home , yeah thanks for being on here , man .
Speaker 2God bless you guys . Thank you Bye . Thank you .
