Ryan: 0:01

all right, keith fortier, welcome to the uncommon path. We have been waiting for. This day we really have. Wow, uh, we have wanted you to be on here for a while um, we're honored, I think we appreciate your time here.

Ryan: 0:27

As you know, this is the Uncommon Path where we do a deep dive into people's paths with the Lord. In short, we just want to hear about how your journey with the Lord started, kind of the past, the present, what he's highlighting for you moving forward. We can camp out on some stuff if you want. Um, we have roughly about an hour.

Ryan: 0:52

Um so we do that's kind of an over our overarching blanket of what we're looking for, but, um, please feel free to just share any moments that are really pivotal, uh, in your journey with the Lord and your walk with the Lord. Give us an intro. Who are you? Who's Keith Fortier? And is it Keith Fortier or is it?

Keith : 1:17

Keith Fortier. It depends on how fancy I'm feeling. No, it's Fortier, but we Um, no, it's, it's, it's 40 year, but we uh, yeah, well, I have some some cousins who've gone to 40 a and our joke is that you know we can't invite the 40s the four year Christmas anymore. They've. They're elevated, they've evolved, they moved above the rest of us.

Chris: 1:37

You should just go full on for two, four, two. Oh, I like that. Who's fancier now?

Ryan: 1:44

I know, no, we're, we're uh, just the 40 years, not that fancy and uh yeah, give us, give us kind of tell us what you do, how many kids you have, how long you've been married.

Keith : 1:54

Uh, last time I counted had six kids. Um, we'll see. No, yeah, yeah, uh. So, uh, my wife Tanya way better than me, obviously and she and I have been married for about 15 years come up on 15. Got married towards the end of college, you know. We started having kids a couple of years later. And yeah, we're foster parents. I've been foster parents for about 10 years, so we've cared for many children over that time. So now we have six children, a mix of biological and adopted.

Ryan: 2:30

So wow, that's awesome yeah, it's good, now give us. Uh, you're from. Where are you from originally? I?

Keith : 2:37

grew up in massachusetts uh, western massachusetts, so um, probably different than how a lot of people picture, it's a lot of mountains and small towns um it.

Ryan: 2:47

So give us kind of where it all began with your journey with the Lord. Was it something that happened over a period of time, like process, or was it a moment or?

Keith : 2:58

uh, I mean definitely. Well, I guess there was a process and a moment, um all all in the story. But uh, yeah, so, uh, so I grew up in a family that, um, that was fostering I guess that's relevant. So I, my parents, were fostering before I was born and they're still fostering now, so they've um cared for well over a hundred kids, um, so, and in that time period when I was young, there was a lot of different regulations, um, or lack of regulations. So, and in that time period when I was young, there was a lot of different regulations or lack of regulations. So we had like 10 to 12 kids most of the time in my family that I grew up in.

Keith : 3:32

So I have, yeah, I have one biological brother and I have five siblings who are adopted, so there's seven of us total. That kind of settled in forever. Um, but I mean to back way up. Uh, I guess a significant part of my story is that, um, so I have one older biological brother and then my, my parent, my mom, had three miscarriages after and just was really really wrecked by that whole experience and her and my dad just really struggling and um, you know the way they they tell the story is that they, they just really prayed and and told god they're like hey, if we get one more kid, he can just be yours, he'll he. Whatever you want, he'll serve you, whatever it looks like. Um, so that was even kind of a heritage for my life, before I was even born.

Chris: 4:22

So you're right, that's like a hannah and samuel kind of thing.

Keith : 4:24

Yeah, yeah, it really really is. You know, it definitely didn't look like serving the Lord most of my life, but yeah, it's just. I feel like it's something sweet that the Lord has brought back to my mind more recently, just this piece of even the beginning, um. But so, born into this family, uh, fostering, uh, you know, western Massachusetts, a small rural town, um, not necessarily the most wholesome of places, uh, just lots of struggles, lots of, you know, pain, drug addiction, uh, in the community, uh, uh. And then in my own family, I feel like I was eyes wide open to all of that, just because of, you know, with all the hurts like, right, domestic abuse in homes can lead to foster care and drug addiction can lead to foster care and incarceration can lead to foster care, and it's like so all these kids were coming into my, my family. They all had pretty intense stories, um, of how they've ended up where they were, of abuse and pain and all kinds of stuff. So just even growing up, I feel like I was just entirely eyes wide open to all of it.

Keith : 5:39

And then my family, I would say, were believers, definitely call ourselves Christians. We went to church every Sunday, but I was in this interesting place where I feel like our family was almost like a labeled Christian. But the way we acted and lived was very, very different and the ways that things happened in our home. I feel like we were all very aware of our sin, but we all were kind of just okay with it. And it was not even okay with it. It was more like actively, like let's hide and cover up how sinful we actually are. And like when you go to church on Sunday morning, like pull it together, look like Christians and even like the foster care side of things, like my parents are amazing, really great people and you know it sounds heroic and it is heroic everything they've done and the kids they've cared for.

Keith : 6:30

Um, but sometimes it kind of felt like, uh, putting on this front of sorts that were like what, what are we presenting to the world of what kind of people we are? Um, so really just it felt like a lot of faking. Um, that that we were Christians is my experience. And then, running into my high school years, we were in this church and I just became more and more aware of what was happening around me and I'm like like I knew my friends, what they were doing. I'm like I knew, I knew what that guy was doing at that party the other night and I know that that that couple's getting divorced and I know that the pastor's son has had massive issues for being accused of like sexually abusing this person and I just all these things like watching all the pain in the community and knowing the faking in our own home made me, as a teenager, go. Oh wait a second. Is this actually all fake? Is like's like all?

Keith : 7:23

of this facade, like the whole Christianity thing, like we're all talking about it but nobody's doing it so it mustn't be real was kind of how my preteen teenage brain kind of consumed that, which led to all kinds of massive issues. You know, I was very quickly in my high school years um got wrapped up in. You know drugs, alcohol, um, you know parties, like the whole, the whole scene. I feel like I, whatever, um, yeah, all the mess that I feel like our community had, I was, I was wrapped up in it like very, very quickly as a young, young man, I mean even as like a, like a freshman in high school. Um, you know I was hanging out with seniors or people in college, it kind of, or people who didn't graduate or um, I mean even like to the point where my first day of high school, my freshman year, like I cut out halfway through the day to go and like drink and smoke.

Keith : 8:28

And like that. That was me, as like a young man in you know, a community where that was very easy to not just like you jump in the river.

Keith : 8:39

That river takes you downstream real, real quick stream real, real quick, um, to the point where, like, just more and more struggles, more and more pain, like school, just everything started falling apart.

Keith : 8:52

The people I was with, um, uh, just turned dark like really, really fast. Like really really fast, you know, even to the point where, by the time I was like finishing my sophomore year, I was personally asking my parents to get me out. I was like I'd like something bad's going to happen to me, like I already had had enough experiences where I was like this was scary or you know, blacked out to the point where awful things were happening, like all kinds of struggles and abuse in the community that I was a part of that. I was like I need to get out of here fast. So I asked my parents to send me away to like a boarding school. I was like all right and I just thought that, like if I, if I got out, then all of this like addiction cause I at that point I was even as like a 14, 15 year old boy. I was like I was fully addicted to um you know lots of stuff.

Keith : 9:47

Uh, and I, I tried stopping and just some of it was community, but some of it was actual, just a physical addiction. Um, so I got my parents to send me away to a boarding school. They were like, they agreed, they knew things were on bad. Um, got into this new community expecting I'm like all right, I'm going to do it, I'm going to fix my life. Everything's going to be different. I'm going to like, change the outlook, the outcome, even like I was like all right.

Keith : 10:16

I'm going to like figure out what it looks like to like live for Jesus. And I had this in the back of my mind because I had, from my childhood, all of the um, what I had was all the do's and don'ts of Christianity, like you should do this and you shouldn't do that, and if you do this then you're bad and you should feel shame, and if you do this then you're good, and that was kind of like my extent of Christianity. Uh, so I head to this new school thinking all right time to do the right thing and, um, you know, but of course you end up you can't just fix that kind of level of darkness, that kind of pain, and obviously, like Satan knows what he's doing, and you meet all the wrong people instantly, no matter where you go. Right, I thought I could get to a new place with new people and change the trajectory of my life, but it was like one. Everything was like the same the same people, the same drugs, just different.

Keith : 11:06

The different now is like we're in a boarding school, so now we're just all in one place together doing drugs and all of that pain um I guess the only thing different now was I was the person who lives closest to the school, so it was easiest for me to get drugs and provide them to the school. So now I was like in that whole scene and that was a different kind of mess. Um yeah, and then I well, I guess one thing that did change was I was like really committed to not ruining my life. So I was like at least I started doing like work and schoolwork, Cause I was in this environment where I could do schoolwork. I kind of felt like I was punishing myself.

Keith : 11:41

I would make myself do everything perfectly on the school side of stuff while I was delivering drugs to the school and so you had like this shame about, like this part of your life that you can't get under control yeah, could not get under control even though I thought, if I do the most dramatic thing in the world that I could, I'm just gonna like uproot myself and put myself in a new place that can fix everything, but that doesn't fix everything.

Ryan: 12:04

Yeah, um, so finished out two years of high school there, um, when you, when you real quick, when you say drugs like you were dealing drugs, what drugs like was it?

Keith : 12:17

yeah, hot uh, a lot of pot. That was like the easiest small um I mean uh, shrooms, uh, oh, you know opioids pills um, like there's yeah, yeah, I wasn't sure.

Ryan: 12:31

Like like the way you emphasized drugs, I was like this could be like a ton of weed or like heroin, like not heroin. I feel like you know you gotta drop yeah no, but um.

Keith : 12:45

But honestly, opioids is one skip away from heroin. I feel like there was a grace on my life that god even spared me from uh, something there, because super addictive yeah, oh yeah yeah, super, super addictive. Um yeah, all kinds of of pain there so, yeah, sorry, keep going, sorry, keep going.

Ryan: 13:04

I just wanted to.

Keith : 13:06

Oh no, it's good, and it's good to clarify and it's good to speak clearly. I'm about that Because I feel like there's a lot of people who could be struggling and yeah, yes, it's real, 100%.

Keith : 13:17

These are real things that a lot of people struggle with currently and do it hidden, with shame and without any support, and I'm not about that. Yeah, but I'd say if, if I lead more heavily on one end, it was more like, um, more like the, the hippie side of of drugs a lot, a lot of shrooms and a lot of yeah, psychedelics and stuff like yeah um, but so finished up high school after a couple of years. Um, I actually graduated valedictorian in my high school while providing drugs to the school.

Ryan: 13:51

That's wild.

Keith : 13:51

Wow, yeah, like I said, just punishing myself for what I thought was ruining my life and trying to fix my life. Well, yeah, without Jesus is a mess. You can't fix your life without Jesus. Um, heading off to college was like an you'll notice this trend, like these transitions in my life, or I was like it's time to clean things up. So I head into college trying to figure out how to fix my life again because I'm like I just and when I say shame, I'm talking like I had so much shame, like I was just wracked with guilt and felt like a horrible human being, while not actually knowing how to get out did you have anybody that knew the real you?

Keith : 14:30

ah, that's a really good question. Um, I don't think so. I think there was people who knew parts of me, right, and there was, because, even even you know, even people who I was good friends with, doing a lot of drugs with like there was a piece of who I was that actually was authentic part of who I was, and, um, but they didn't know the ways that I struggled, they didn't know that I didn't want to be a part of these things, that I just didn't know how to be out, I didn't know how to be free. Um, and then there were people who knew I don't think anyone actually knew how much I was struggling. Um, I think people knew like my parents definitely knew that that things weren't going well, um, but I don't think they knew how much I really wrestled with feelings of guilt and shame.

Keith : 15:21

Um, you know, cause all this there's right and there's wrong is all I had for Christianity, like it was black or white. You're either doing it or you're not. And I was like, if there was a anyone who's not doing it, I was like it is me, I'm the one, I'm so not doing it, even to the point where there was multiple times in my story that I still think back on now, that that I can point to certain experiences and say I don't think I should have survived to that Like, that moment, like what is like one of the stories like um, uh, being so inebriated and driving uh to some point and feel a driving, almost feeling like I was sober, and then climbing out of the car and falling on the ground unable to walk.

Keith : 16:08

And just looking back now just be like I think God actually just saved my life. Like when I look at those experiences or like, yeah, like a good half dozen things I can point to my memory where I'm like God saved my life, like there's no reason why I should have survived that moment. And I'm still here, you know, and and yeah, all the, the, the thankfulness. But then also just knowing God's kind of tender heart, even in the midst of when I was so off base, the way I can still see his hand kind of preserving me, preserving my life, you know, on the path that he had me on and the path he was taking me off of. But if it wasn't for you know, miracles, I really don't think.

Chris: 16:55

And his faithfulness to your mom. Yeah, for setting you apart. Yes, just that prayer. Yes, like, even though you rebel like, his destiny for you has a way of like. He has a way of like routing your steps, even while you're fumbling around in the dark, to get you where you need to be.

Keith : 17:14

Yes, yeah, and I, when I look back, um, I mean in so many memories that I'm like sometimes, sometimes my feeling is like man, god, I wish you could just wipe all my memories, Cause they're too dark and they're too painful and they're too shameful. But then sometimes, looking back on those memories, actually seeing where God was in the midst of them and seeing the way that he was loving me and preserving me, and, yeah, you can just see how tender he was, even in those like dark, dark places. Um, you know, I couldn't see it then, but oh, man, I see it now, like so thankful, um, yeah so what?

Ryan: 17:52

what happened after high school?

Keith : 17:54

flash forward to college. Um, you know, I decided I decided to go to bentley, um, which was a business university, uh, because I was afraid of not making enough money. I believed that if I had enough money then therefore I'd be happy. Um, I had no interest in in business at all. I knew that had nothing to do with what I'd be good at or even like doing, but got a full ride, cause I looked like a pretty decent person on paper and I went off to Bentley and had this resolve in my gut that I was like I'm doing it this time I'm going to be a different person, like I'm going to like find, like the Bible studies on campus, I'm going to just, this is like a new crossroads and I'm doing it all over again. This is awesome. And I literally pulled into Bentley's like campus parking lot and parked and a car pulled up next to me and parked and this guy, um, you know, climbed out the car smoking a joint and I was like oh, hey, what's up?

Keith : 18:52

I'm I'm keith and then we walked in to check in and um, and he ended up he was my roommate.

Keith : 18:59

We had assigned roommates together and I'm like I just like can literally point back and like all these places in my story where I was like I'm gonna live free and satan's like, oh no, you don't think, like you think so, but and just all the wrong people at every intersection of my life like over and over and over again, um. So it's just another one of these moments where, like I was like all right things gonna be different and um, and I'd say at that point things got worse, not better, like it was bad, it got worse. Um. So I mean I feel like we gotta flash forward to when jesus gets into this story. We'll get there.

Chris: 19:40

I love it. You're building're building backstory. It's good yeah.

Keith : 19:44

I mean. So I guess important also to uh just lean into like how fearful I was of my future, which is even why I was at that college, like this fear of money and not having enough in this. Um, yeah, I mean, I grew up in my family, did not have a lot. We had enough, but there was always tension and stress about money. So I was like, all right, so I'm going to bentley, my only goal is to make a lot of money. That's why I'm there. I meet all the wrong people, um, like all the the party scene and uh, all the. Where is bentley? It's just outside boston. Okay, yeah, so just outside boston. I think there was even some, you know some, mercies in that season, uh, but there was just a lot of pain, um, and a lot of the wrong people, wrong, uh, wrong relationships, wrong, you know uh, drugs and even moments where things took turns for um, for the worst.

Ryan: 20:47

Would you, would you, mind sharing one story of pain? I don't know why I want to ask that, but I just kind of felt like I should.

Keith : 20:57

Yeah, that's good. Let me think on it for a minute.

Ryan: 21:01

Sorry guys, we're just having a it's good intermission.

Keith : 21:04

What a break mission.

Ryan: 21:05

Keith's thinking about a bad, depressing story while we uh refill on uh drinks ryan's like tell us, tell us the worst one, what's the worst?

Keith : 21:19

it doesn't. It doesn't have to be yeah, if you if nothing comes to mind I'm not

Ryan: 21:24

I just I just want, like I feel like it might be helpful, just to share like one story, cause, cause. This is all through the eyes of redemption now. Right and we're not camping out on these bad stories to glorify how terrible it was. But, like I, I love details because, uh, you know, like I want to feel where you were at. Yeah, because right now I feel like it was bad, but I don't know, like I don't have a grid.

Keith : 21:54

Yeah, and I feel like the reason it's even hard for me to pull them up is because there's this interesting tension between just actually wanting to forget everything, like where there's so much and I I don't feel any condemnation now, like living on this side of the cross and living freedom, and I think there were times where it was shameful and condemning and there's these memories, like I just don't want to go back there. Um, and literally I there was times where I prayed. I'm like I don't even like why can't?

Chris: 22:32

I just like get a washed clean, new memory Cause there's just too much.

Keith : 22:35

There's just too much and I feel like there's this like I don't know, it's a thing that enemy can, can use sometimes. You know, like even just like laying in bed at night and like memories can pop right back into your mind. You're like oh, and then all the guilt, like there are times where I've actually had to like find somebody on facebook and like be like. I'm gonna like repent and say sorry, like good friends that I feel like part of the reason they struggled with addiction and end up in rehab and all of their pain in their story. I'm like, was that my fault? Like did I like? So there's a so much horror if my mind goes down the rabbit trails of of all, those things.

Ryan: 23:20

Speaking of rabbit trails, my grin.

Chris: 23:25

Golly Ryan Wrong moment.

Keith : 23:29

I heard there's something about a juicy carrot. We're going after right. I couldn't do it.

Ryan: 23:36

It's so, it's so. I was like I gotta capitalize on it, but he was pouring his heart out and I'm like this is not, this is not, this is not the time. Oh gosh, yes, I'm sorry, Sorry.

Chris: 23:56

Yes, alright, maybe slow down. Maybe you should have found a water.

Ryan: 24:06

So, yeah, past Pat like in college, share with us, kind of like when the redemption started.

Keith : 24:15

So redemption breaks out in college and um, and what happened was God stepped into my story in a really real, tangible way when I was not looking at all for him. And the way it happened was, you know, I was at Bentley to make money as much as I could, which is why I was there, and there was this one student teaching position that was on Bentley's trading floor and if you land this position in the trading room they're the people who get hired into like big paying jobs right out of college, like oodles of money. So I, you know, even got like the chance to like interview for this and I was going through the whole process. And the whole process in this trading room kind of interview is just like trying to figure out if they'll sell your soul, you know, if you're willing to sell your soul to yeah.

Keith : 25:18

Wall street wall street stocks, like, will you actually like, just crush yourself for the next? Like 72 hours to study software, study different things about it, and then they do this whole quiz and you have to present. And so I went through the whole process and and I got it. I landed the student you know the job in the trading room and I was literally skipping through campus like frolicking. I was like frolicking down the sidewalk, like shouting, like like gleeful Cause, that's exactly why I was there. I was, I didn't care what I was gonna be doing. I was there to make money and if there was a single track that got you to the most money, this was this. Was it in the school? Um?

Keith : 26:00

So I was running through campus and then, like in a moment, this thought hits me to the back of my head, which now you know, I know to be the lord. I didn't know it then, but this thought hits me and and I just hear in my mind, you know, if, you know, keith, if, if you do this, you're going to be miserable. And like, I kid you not, I went from frolicking and I sat down right there on the curb and started crying, just like weeping. Um, because I, I knew it was true. Wow, I knew that. You know I was selling my soul to something that actually wasn't going to be satisfying. Um, so I just literally on the curb crying and and I threw up this sarcastic, rude prayer um, like didn't even mean it at all was that the first time you heard the like, the lord, like that?

Keith : 26:57

yeah, I think so. As far as I can tell, in my story it's the first time um you know deaf, because it was definitely the lord entered into my story when I wasn't even asking for it. Yeah, so I threw up this, this, it wasn't even a sarcastic prayer, it was like an angry prayer, you know cause? My parents always told me they were like you know, god made you for something. You just need to figure out what it is. So I'm sitting there crying Cause I'm like I thought I was heading into like a career path is what I wanted, and I'm like I'm going to be miserable. What is this? And I like literally looked up at the sky and just said well, why don't you tell me what I'm supposed to do then?

Keith : 27:36

Like angry, like real angry and just wipe my eyes and went on my day Like it didn't even happen.

Chris: 27:40

So you knew you had a hunch, or knew that this truth was from the Lord?

Keith : 27:45

then I think at that point in my story I don't even know if I could tell you I knew it was the Lord. All I knew is that something. I had this thought in my head and it changed everything about how I felt and I knew it was true Like I believed it Gotcha that if I, if I continued on this path, I was gonna be miserable. Um, I didn't necessarily change my path right away. I just sat down and cried yelled at God and moved on.

Chris: 28:14

That's a crazy moment, moment because you yeah, you got exactly what you wanted. Yeah, and then immediately found out, or knew to believe that this was going to make you miserable yeah, it was, um, it was like being torn in two different directions, yeah, at the same time.

Keith : 28:28

And I kind of went on with my day, um, and then this odd thing started happening, like immediately where we're at this business school, which is not like a very warm, kid friendly place, like I've never seen kids there before, and everywhere I was going like I would go to our professor's office and the like you know professor would be there and be like, oh, I had to bring my kids with me today. He's like, but I have to run down the hall and talk to somebody, can you hang out with them for a few minutes? And I'm like, oh, yeah, sure, and then I go to class later. And it'd be a different professor. I was like, oh, we had an emergency at home and my kids are here with me. They're just going to play in the corner just trying to ignore weeks. And it wasn't just like. It wasn't just like, oh, there's kids around. It was like, hey, will you hang out with my kids?

Keith : 29:17

And I grew up on a home with tons of kids. I knew I was actually quite good at being with kids and taking care of them. I knew I enjoyed being around them. I might even say I knew I was supposed to be working with kids, but I was actively kind of like all right, that's weird, I'm not going to be a guy who goes and works with kids, that's you know. I'm going to be a cool guy that goes and does business. It makes money. That's what I'm going to do. Um, so I you know, maybe I was actively avoiding it, but, um, but after weeks of these bizarre encounters with kids, like all around me, I got to the point that I was like what is happening? I'm like this is nuts. Because after weeks of it I was like this is weird. I was like what is going on? And immediately that same voice right to the back of my head I hear you asked me to show you.

Keith : 30:12

I'm like I sit down and start weeping again where I'm like oh my gosh, because like all in this moment, in this, like all in this one moment, I feel like there's a few things that hit me. Like one I didn't know God was real. I kind of written him off. You know earlier in my story that Christianity is fake, that everybody's faking. So in this moment I was like, oh my gosh, god is real. And number two he loves me enough to step into my story when I was not. I was not seeking him at all.

Keith : 30:53

There was nothing lovely about me, like it was the opposite, right Like I was, I was detestable. There was like I was an awful human being on so many levels and I'm like, and if there is a God, then he knows all of that, he's seen it all and there's nothing lovely about me. But in this moment I was like, okay, god's real and he loves me enough to answer my angry, sarcastic prayer that I didn't even mean, I didn't even mean it, and he's like you asked me to show you I'm. Like. It completely rocked my world. I was like, okay, he's real and he loves me, and that I feel like that is enough. Just to know God is real and to know that he loves you. I feel like it's enough to change everything, and it and it did for me. That's where I feel like nothing. Things didn't change in my life instantly, but I feel like the of my life changed in just a moment. Everything changed.

Chris: 31:56

What did you do with this truth?

Keith : 32:01

Cried a lot Just get to know me, I'm a big crier but I feel like the only thing I knew how to do was to obey. It's the only thing I knew how to do was to obey. It's the only thing I knew how to do. And the only thing I had to obey at that point was that I was supposed to be working with kids. I feel like that was the prayer that the sarcastic, not even prayer that he decided to answer. So I was like, okay, that's what I'm supposed to be doing. That he decided to answer. So I was like, okay, that's what I'm supposed to be doing.

Keith : 32:33

I wrestled with a ton of fear, like fear of what the world will think of somebody, of a guy who goes you know who's going to work with kids. I think there's all kinds of stigma about that. I've definitely wrestled with the fear of going from what would be like considered a really lucrative career to one that would be like a making very nothing career. Um, which actually that that one was more significant wrestle that I actually feel like it was one of the first things I wrestled with with the lord. I actually like prayed, because I was not praying even in the midst of like trying to transition career paths. I wasn't really praying, but I was afraid of of going to make like a teacher salary.

Keith : 33:10

I was like really afraid and and one of the first things, and and God spoke very clearly to me in that fear and said um, you know, keith, like same thing, this voice of God, like I'm trying to figure out what it is I hear the you know God say like you know, keith, if, if you follow me, you're not going to have to worry about the numbers. Yeah, and I believed it. Yeah, I feel like I heard it and I believed it. And I feel like that's a whole other side thread of our whole story. Is God making it Like we've never had a lot of money but, man, we've never had to worry, like there's been so many miracles in our story of, like our whole financial existence, like so many miracles and so much provision I mean I taught kindergarten for 12 years while we have like an enormous family and like all of the ways that, like our financial life shouldn't add up. And it all goes back to this one moment where God said if you follow me, you're not gonna have to worry.

Chris: 34:16

And I feel like that's so good. Seek first the kingdom, and all of these things will be added onto you, right, yeah.

Keith : 34:24

Yeah.

Chris: 34:25

That's good.

Keith : 34:25

We've seen it, we've seen it over and over again. Um so I was transferring. I was like, all right, I gotta, I gotta transfer schools to transfer schools, that's what I have to do.

Ryan: 34:32

I was getting out of business school and all I knew, like I just Do you know, like the percentage of people who passed the test that you did for like?

Keith : 34:45

Not a lot. Yeah, I actually think most people didn't make it to testing. They quit during the 72 hours of trying to prepare for it Because it was like too grueling and too much and too.

Ryan: 34:56

Yeah, most people never even made it to the point where they would do the test I guess the the thing I kept thinking about, as you're sharing all this, is like that has to be a very, very few number yeah, like low number.

Keith : 35:11

Yeah, well, I think people it's one of, like, the most desired position, you know, uh, positions at the school, um, so a lot of people go after it, um, and it probably requires, like a very high iq and a very tenacious mindset, like mental toughness that I bet a few people have yeah, it's interesting that like you pass that.

Chris: 35:33

Yes.

Ryan: 35:33

And then the Lord is like.

Keith : 35:35

Hey, I work with kids.

Ryan: 35:36

Yeah, yeah you have the capabilities of a genius, but no, what's your work?

Keith : 35:42

Well, most people wouldn't call me a genius, and if there was brain cells in there, I think I killed a lot of them. Let the record stand.

Chris: 35:56

If I let the record stand, if I'm slurring or not making sense. Now you know why I love that. That you got the truth right right after, yeah that, though like that you pat, he lets you pass it and let you like yeah let you go through the whole process get it feel all the emotion, yeah, all that stuff, and then, yeah, get that truth like there's something powerful in that. Yes, and I think that he, he timed that perfectly.

Keith : 36:19

I don't even know if I understand why, but maybe you don't understand why or maybe you know, but like, I feel like that was very intentional yeah, I feel like it was a moment um, there's a lot of things building towards that moment, uh, and not that god wasn't working or calling me at other times, but it was a really sensitive point where I mean and you'll like, you've heard my story already there's all these intersections where I was trying to fix my life, I was trying to get clean, I was trying to get free, but this moment I wasn't trying anything Like, I was just trying to stay on the path that I was on. But this was an intersection that God created.

Chris: 36:59

It's almost like a rich young ruler moment. Right, yeah, like you've got it, now it's in your hands, like you obviously got to go perform at the job or whatever, but you, you've gotten to the point where almost nobody gets. And then the lord you, and then you meet the lord, yeah, and he's like you got to lay that down and follow me. If you really want to have your, your debt, like if you want to fulfill your destiny, yeah, you have to lay that down and follow me.

Keith : 37:29

Yeah, absolutely.

Chris: 37:32

So you transfer colleges.

Keith : 37:33

I transfer colleges.

Chris: 37:35

You had a full ride at this college Full ride and then you decided to transfer.

Keith : 37:38

I'm transferring from a college where I have a full ride to a college where I don't have a full ride.

Chris: 37:42

Right.

Keith : 37:43

Where I'll be paying a lot more money to then get a degree in a field To make less money?

Ryan: 37:48

Yeah.

Keith : 37:48

To get a degree in a field that's guaranteed to not make you money so you took this very seriously that he's never gonna.

Chris: 37:57

I believe let you lack.

Keith : 37:58

Yeah, I believed it. I feel like I thought it was one of the only things I mean and it's a thread through I mean, it's a thing through my whole story. I'm like man, if god is saying something, if I'm not doing it, then yeah, I'm the dumb one. But I feel like all I know how to do is like, if I hear God, I'm like, obviously, that's, that's a yes.

Keith : 38:20

I mean I even I even wear this bracelet, it's got this Hebrew word on it. Um, henani is this Hebrew word. I learned this like even a year or so ago, but I feel like it's so good and has meant so much to me. So this, this word, hanani what it means is actually, I guess the way it's translated in our Bible is here I am. So whenever you see here I am in your Bible, when mostly when it's people talking to God, it's it's Heneni in the Hebrew. So like Abraham's holding the knife up about to kill his son and God calls his name and Abraham says Heneni. Or like God calls Moses in the burning bush and Moses sees the bush, hears the call and says Heneni. It's translated in our Bible as here I am, but apparently here I am is like a really awful translation. That a more accurate meaning would be something along the lines of like oh crap you're a whore, and whatever comes out of your mouth next, consider it already done.

Keith : 39:33

Wow, that's wild.

Ryan: 39:36

And I did not know that yeah, and it's.

Keith : 39:40

It's all throughout the old testament. When god calls people's names and people say hineni, it's like okay, whatever you, whatever you're about to say, I'm already in agreement, it's already going to happen, because you're holy and I'm not. And I feel like this is from the beginning. I feel like that was part of my experience. I'm like man. God showed up right, like he showed up for me when I was entirely unworthy of anybody showing up for right, like I was. I was a wretched human being and he showed up for me and called my name. Who am I to say anything other than it's already done, already done. So I feel like I kind of carry that word and I feel like I didn't know that word, but now that I learned it a while ago, I'm like, yeah, I feel like that's been my story. I'm like if God's going to say something to me, then it's already. It's already done, consider it done, um, so yeah, so he's so cool, he said it.

Keith : 40:39

He said if you, follow me, you don't have to worry. And I believed it. I'm like, all right, let's do this, um. And then, even even in transferring, I feel like there's a whole miracle. I mean so many miracles. There's a miracle story, even with our student loans, of how those were just like gone and taken care of and all the things along the way. But transferring schools and I'm at this now, I'm at this junction again, right, going to a whole new place, new people, new peers, new like I'm doing it, and this time I know God is real and I know he loves me, and you'd think that could be different. But met all the wrong people first, right, except there was one difference the first person I met. So I'm transferred to the school and I entirely missed the open house, because I am who I am and I'm living the way I'm living.

Keith : 41:27

So I entirely missed the open house for the school that I was thinking was the best one to transfer to. So I get up and I go and I'm just I'll go give myself a self-guided tour of the school, I'll go look around, see what's up, and I'm in the student center and meet this girl. And she is like you talk about. Like Moses came off the mountain, it was like shining because he had been with God. Like this girl, countenance of Christ, I was like I saw her. She knows Jesus and she has what I'm looking for. Like whatever this relationship looks like, she's got it figured out. So that was Tanya that I met transferring schools. So now my wife of 15 years, um, met her in the student center, um got her email so I could ask her lots of questions about the school yeah, lots of dialogue uh, she helped.

Chris: 42:27

Very curious about this school that's right I could just get your email. I've got lots of classes here, very curious about this school. That's right, I could just get your email, I've got lots of classes here.

Keith : 42:38

She color coded my schedule for me when I arrived, showed me where my classes were. She had all the skills that I don't have, all the things that I'm really bad at, but no, but in all seriousness, like there was I, I was looking, I like all I knew was that God loves me and that he's real. But I didn't know anything else about walking with the Lord or nothing else had changed about who I was, other than this like conviction that, all right, well, god's telling me to do something. I got to do it. Um, so met Tanya, um, you know, while also meeting a lot of the wrong people still living all the same lifestyle at this new school. And then, at one point, you know, I was like all right, well, I'm going to ask this girl out because she's awesome and it feels right. So I asked Tanya out and she's like I think you and Jesus have a lot to work on before we could think about that.

Keith : 43:38

And she was right. She was right, me and Jesus had a lot to work on. But then, you know, later that day she sent me an email and she said hey, I was praying for you and I just felt like like I need to send you this verse. And she sent me a verse in Romans 8. She kind of typed it out in an email and I was like oh well, I think I got a.

Keith : 43:58

Bible somewhere. So I kind of like rummaged through my stuff and found my Bible and I was like I'll read the verse in my Bible instead of just reading on the screen.

Chris: 44:06

Look at me.

Keith : 44:15

Look how good of a Christian I'm going to open this Bible today. But I did. I opened my Bible and I found that verse in Romans 8 and I read it and then I just kept reading. Yeah, I just I finished Romans and then I finished first country and then next day I just kept reading and, man, it's like I grew up like in a church with, with, like, the word of God.

Keith : 44:37

I grew up with things that I knew, all the stories, I'd heard a lot of the scriptures, but, oh man, they were all different. There's jumping like literally off the page into my heart, like um, and the things I was reading, right, like all I knew how to do was if God's going to say something to me, then I better obey it. But now he was saying a whole heck of a lot to me. I was like tearing through the Bible and I was taking things out of reading and I was like I wonder what happens if I do this and I would start doing it. Just, I wonder what happens if I do this and I would start doing it, just taking a scripture, and be like what does it look like to do this today? What does it look like to say my life is a living offering. And be like what does it look like to be a living offering? And just be like how do I do that? And just started trying to take things and do it and, oh man, the whole world changed.

Ryan: 45:29

And then all of a sudden, like do you remember the first thing?

Keith : 45:30

you implemented the first thing I implemented. Well, the first thing I read was romans 8. That's enough to rock. You're a whole world, right like now. There's no condemnation for those who are christ. Jesus, like what? Yeah?

Ryan: 45:43

what does it?

Keith : 45:43

mean to have no condemnation. I was like the most worthy of being condemned of all people. I'm like, oh, can I actually believe that? Can I believe that when God says I can live with no condemnation? Like, oh gosh.

Keith : 46:06

So now all of these things, right, drugs, addiction, alcohol, all the lifestyle, all the, everything that I feel like I worked. I was like multiple times in my story I worked my butt off to try and get clean and I just knew these chains weren't coming off. Like I just I knew it in my gut. But then I started reading the word of God. Like I just I, I knew it in my gut, but then I started reading the word of God and all of a sudden, it's like I'd, with no effort, zero effort, everything just like one by one started falling off my life, just like freedom, freedom, freedom, um, with, without me lifting a finger. I feel like it was all.

Keith : 46:49

And I think what happened was as God became so real and so good and so intimate that I was like, oh my gosh, he is so much better, like God, is so much more satisfying, and everything else wasn't anymore Like none of it and none of it satisfied, and none of it had any power over me. So it's like everything just started started falling off my life, um, with zero effort, and, and Jesus started coming alive in new ways, started walking with a new bounce in my step, started hearing God's voice more and more bouncing my step, started hearing God's voice more and more. Um, you know, ended up, uh, a few months later, ended up going off to be like a counselor at a camp that I went to when I was a kid. I was like I emailed the director. I was like, hey, uh, I'm not very good at following Jesus. I'm trying to figure it out but, I, don't know, do you need any counselors?

Keith : 47:44

I think the email was actually something like that. I was like you don't want me to be a counselor, but I feel like I something's telling me I should say hi. And he was like and the director called me immediately. He was like hey, I was just praying, I need one more male counselor this summer. And he's like and that's you. I was like. I was like I don't.

Chris: 48:06

I told him on the phone.

Keith : 48:07

I was like I don't think it is me. I want to be clear and he's like no, god told me it's you.

Chris: 48:13

You're the guy I love how like so juxtapose verse against the 72 hour prep to get what you thought you wanted, which was probably just like this grueling process of going through all all these hurdles and it's like you're the, you're the needle in the haystack, you are the guy and then. But then you, when you apply to get what is actually your destiny, yes, you're just like I. I don't think this is me yeah, I don't know, no, it's you.

Keith : 48:42

You're hired that's exactly how it happened and then. So then I had like six weeks until camp started, right, and I'm like just barely walking with jesus. It's been like maybe a couple weeks and I'd like, uh, and I'm like six weeks till camp starts and I'm like, and I remember as a kid all the counselors like they had all the answers.

Keith : 49:00

They were like such holy people and just knew how to pray that they knew all the things. I was terrified. So I started, started just tearing through anything I could read. I probably read the Bible twice in that six weeks. I read every Christian living book. I could find Anything like Max Lucado, john Eldridge, whatever people were reading. I was like I need it.

Keith : 49:23

I was climbing a mountain every morning at 4 am to go spend time with the Lord leading up to camp. Like, just climb this mountain and just read my Bible on the mountain, like all day All, because I was like I need to get ready to be a counselor. And then I show up at camp, that six week period, like the voice of God, like the intimacy of God, like things that like like it blew my mind just how close and how God was in everything, like he was in it all in my life, in every moment, and and it was so intimate with the Lord. And then I show up at camp I'm like, yes, I'm ready to be a counselor. And God speaks to me and he says, oh, I would have given you everything you needed to be a counselor. He's like these last weeks they were just about me.

Chris: 50:13

Just about us.

Keith : 50:18

Man, I feel like living out of that place right, that kind of intimacy and just longing for for that kind of nearness. It's just kind of fueled me all the way through. I mean, I at camp I feel like I had some like imposter feelings, where I'm, like everyone else has been walking with the Lord for a while, I'm just like this new guy. But also I think one one significant thing was like that was my first encounter with like community, like fellowship of people who loved the Lord. My first friends that were actually quality friends, people that I could, brothers, I could walk with brothers, I could repent with people who heard my story and wouldn't condemn me. It was like this radical introduction to the people of God that summer for me, which was so, so sweet. Some of my closest friends still are from that summer.

Chris: 51:20

That's super cool.

Keith : 51:21

Yeah, ask, tanya back out. She said yes. If you're wondering, she said yes. If you're wondering, she said yes.

Chris: 51:29

It's going great If she saw Jesus had done some work.

Keith : 51:35

Yeah a bit. She's still praying for him to work on this.

Chris: 51:38

That was after you came back from the camp.

Keith : 51:41

It was like heading into camp. Yeah, shortly after she was like all right let's she's like this guy's climbing mountains.

Chris: 51:48

He's doing something. He read the bible twice.

Keith : 51:53

Yes, that's awesome I don't know if I've read the bible twice since, then let's be clear I'm not nearly as good at reading the bible.

Ryan: 52:01

I do read it, not like that yeah I'd like to hear about your time in boston a little bit yeah you shared with me really cool stories about praying for a kid that drowned right oh yeah, well, that's an intense one it's a lot of unpacking there. Yeah, you don't have to share that one.

Keith : 52:23

You can share whatever but yeah, yeah, give us. Uh, you want to go go right to God raising the dead. That's where you're going to go. I'm good with that.

Ryan: 52:31

Fast forward through you and Tanya adopting yeah.

Keith : 52:36

Yeah, I think for us, um, you know so I taught kindergarten for 12 years a lot of work in schools, Um, lots of cool testimonies, time working in school and just really God's heart for kids is kind of a big deal for me and Tanya. Just kind of living out of that place, of really experiencing just how fiercely God loves children and wants to fight for them, especially vulnerable children, kids that are in the most vulnerable places in society, we just experienced God in his fierce heart to protect them. Um, and yeah, living that out I feel like is a big deal for for me and Tanya I mean even more specifically, um, you know, in our journey as foster parents, um, becoming foster parents, you know, there was me and Tanya both had this really supernatural moment where together we kind of received like the only way we can kind of explain it as like a, like a download of sorts of like this must be how God actually feels about kids and particularly kids that are hurting and struggling and kids in the foster care system. And I, we remember looking at each other and just like these big eyes I could tell she was feeling it too and we're like, oh, wow, like now we have this like God sized desire to actually care for every single child.

Keith : 54:12

That's hurting, where it's like, uh, to have a God size ache for the whole pain in the system and families falling apart and kids that are vulnerable and just.

Keith : 54:23

And when we knew, like, okay, we can't actually care for all the children, we don't even know what that looks like. But kind of living out of this place like, okay, we can't actually care for all the children, we don't even know what that looks like. But kind of living out of this place of having what do we do now, now that we feel all of this, how do we actually live out that kind of experience in the world around us? How do we live out a longing to, um, yeah, see families restored, see families not fall apart in the first place, see kids wrapped up and loved when they're needed it, when it's needed Um, yeah, all of it. So that's uh, yeah, kind of fueled us. It's been a big kind of driving factor for us the last 10 years of life and family and ministry and even still today, um, just continuing to kind of carry out like, what does it look like to see god's heart for vulnerable kids breaking out in the community around us?

Ryan: 55:27

So yeah, love that.

Chris: 55:31

I'd just like to look, think back and observe and kind of just been listening to your story and try to phrase the question accurately but, like I see, this guy that tried to get it right, as you said, like tried to clean yourself up on your own, realized it was there was no hope in that. Yeah, it's really just jesus. He encountered you when you weren't looking yeah, yeah, um, so what does your? What is your walk, now that you've been following? What is your walk with him? Look like.

Keith : 56:10

Yeah, it's a good question. Um, I think my walk with Jesus, especially the last handful of years, has been um much more. I mean, it's gone from climbing mountains to chase after his presence and be near to him to now. I feel like the life I live is more of a desperation for his presence, where I feel like the places he's called us in life and ministry. A lot of what we're doing doesn't actually feel possible.

Keith : 56:41

Our kind of foster care journey or, as we've, you know, done different things or, you know, cared for kids that have experienced like horrific trauma, like caring for kids in your home that have been through like physical abuse, sexual abuse, like severe neglect, like the heaviness and the darkness, like it just is too much and it actually like to hold.

Keith : 57:08

I remember our first foster daughter was 11 months old and she had spent those 11 months of her life like basically alone in her crib, like almost starving to death. Um, and you hold this like little frail girl in your hands and you just feel the weight of all of her pain, you feel all the darkness and, man, it will actually crush you. But it's made me desperate for Jesus because I'm like, oh man, if you don't show up. If you don't show up Jesus, then I'm wrecked and this is all hopeless. And he does every time. He shows up every single time, and I feel like that experience of being desperate for jesus and seeing him show up um it almost. I mean addicting is the wrong word. Maybe it's the right word, right like you'd be, I get addicted to experiencing god in that desperate place where I'm like all right if I go to another impossible place where this doesn't feel possible.

Keith : 58:16

I know he's going to show up again and and it. It's so satisfying to be in his presence, watching him do miracles for kids and families that desperately need it over and over again, and I feel like I do have. I read my Bible, I pray, but the biggest part of my walk with God the last handful of years is just I'm desperate for you and and this is impossible without you so, um yeah.

Chris: 58:52

That's awesome. You feel like a guy who's squarely in the middle of your purpose.

Keith : 59:00

I feel that and the funny thing is right Um, you've heard it my story is like I didn't put myself here at all. I feel like even even the job I'm doing now, which is like I get to sit with pastors and groups of people and churches and help to create what I experienced of God's heart for this system, god's heart for the kids, that's just what I get to spread. I get to be like a prophetic voice, shouting to communities how much God loves these kids and how much they're worth our whole lives and how much Jesus is going to show up if we go and get involved. Like, but I don't know, I couldn't have made this job I couldn't have. Like I couldn't even made myself. Like I couldn't have the credentials I couldn't. Like, I don't know. It's just like God has written a story on me and Tanya's life that, um, that I couldn't have, couldn't have dreamed or tried. That's awesome. You'll have to get Tanya to get the rest of the foster care. I think we will have to do that.

Chris: 1:00:21

Keith Fortier, thank you for being on the Uncommon Path. It's been awesome Thanks. And that's been awesome Thanks, all right.

Ryan: 1:00:30

Yeah, and that's a wrap. You Thank you.